Somtimes we just need to vent:)

999reasonstosmile.com Its deff a great website...I saw on blissbabes to check this page out..and I am glad I did. If you are infertile, or have had diffcultys trying to concieve, you can really appericate this girls blog. For me, it lets me know I am not alone....while yes I obviously can conceive, it hasn't been an easy journey.....and obviously while I can get pregnant, I do lose the babies. I am going to share some of my the best ones....mostly to share with the world, but also so I have them to go back & re visit with!

#702 Wouldn’t it be Great to be Pregnant at the SAME time!
You’ve heard this line many times before. Wouldn’t it be just great if we got pregnant at the same time! Yes (sister-in-law, best friend, cousin Martha), it would be fantastic to be pregnant at the same time, and how would you like me to do that again?



As soon as your relative, friend, Facebook acquaintances, co-worker gets pregnant, she suddenly shares her fabulous idea that you should get pregnant at the same time. “It would be so much fun,” She squeals (while rubbing her pregnant belly). “We can take prenatal classes together and go on play dates. You better hurry up!” And it typically doesn’t matter if she knows about your infertility struggles or not. She will somehow say this anyways.



What a SUPER NEAT idea! Yes! Let’s be pregnant together! I will just head right home, take some fertility drugs, stick a transvaginal wand inside of me, remove embryos from my uterus, have a fertility lab technician wash my husband’s sperm, have some timed intercourse and then sit patiently for the next two weeks, waiting for my pregnancy test results.

 Your sister-in-law, friend, co-worker and cousin Martha do have a good point. It would have been really nice to be pregnant at the same time. You have thought about this a million times before. You thought about it when dear old SIL was pregnant with baby #1, and then baby #2. You thought about it when your friend Betty-Sue was trying to conceive and got pregnant right away while you were still waiting. And no, you can’t just “hurry up and get pregnant.” If ‘hurry up’ means get pregnant within 3-10 years, you will definitely hurry it up. Next time you’re at the fertility doctor, you’ll nicely inquire if she could hurry up the ovulation, fertilization process. No problem-o!



During infertility, you can also enjoy some of the following lines (that seem to be universal):



•Just relax and it will happen.
•Why are you waiting so long?
•Why don’t you just adopt?
•I know someone (who knows someone) who adopted and then got pregnant.
•Have you tried (insert bad advice from a relative, grandma Mildred, a friend or random stranger)?
•Get drunk!
•Go on vacation and it will just happen.
•When the time is right, it will happen.
•You’re thinking about it too much.
•Stop trying.


You do agree it would be great to be pregnant at the same time as your friend but right now, you would happily settle to get pregnant at any time and any date.

I think this is my favorite one so far....



#999 You google words like "breasts sore, late period, ovulation"

Google is our best and most trustworthy friend. There has been several times when you googled all your pre-pregnancy symptoms in hopes someone in cyber space would confirm your pregnancy. If you haven’t googled your symptoms, you are not a true infertile! Your popular google searches: “ovulation, basal temperature, I nfertility, tender breasts, dark nipples, low sperm count.” You know it’s true and we won’t tell…

Lmao....I can't even count the times I have looked for google to answer my questions.

998 You have cried in a public restroom when you got your period 
Yep, I am deff not going to lie this has most deff happened to me...fun stuff let me tell ya!
 
#994 You get mad at your partner when he is not available on ovulation days



You have been waiting for those 2 magical days a month – ovulation days! You get prepared to seduce your partner tonight, you wait for him to get home…. He calls you to say he is going out tonight with the boys. IS HE KIDDING? You have been waiting for those magical days all month – those days that give you the smallest amount of hope, and he won’t be around. I also love when he is ‘too tired.’ Too tired? Isn’t he the same guy who begged for sex while you were dating? Oh, he is having sex tonight, I’ll tell you that much.

Haha, its true...and its deff happened. While it may not be his fault, we just can't help but be mad!!

#990 You examine the toilet paper when you get your period



Wiping yourself has never been so complex! What color is it?


You always examine that toilet paper and ask yourself questions like “Is this really my period?” or “Is this just spotting?” Sometimes you’re sure that the coloring is just too pink or too brown to be your real period. Your husband might walk into the bathroom as you are wiping and inspecting – don’t bother explaining, he doesn’t really understand.


You also look for spotting prior to your period. Once, I thought I saw blood a week before my period and was very excited, until I realized that it was blood from shaving my legs.


Who can relate? Show of hands?


Quilty as charged! I also do this all month exam the shit out of my toliet paper.. I want to know if the discharge is ovulation or not---duh!


#987 It’s a weekend morning and you are looking at fertility sites!


Is this you? It’s the weekend right now and you have been looking at fertility sites for over an hour! You are on THIS site right now which means you know it’s true!


Hopefully, it’s not first thing in the morning when you should be sleeping late or getting your morning (decaf-but-wish-it-was-regular) coffee ready. Your husband is probably still in bed and you are googling all your early pregnancy symptoms. You might have all the same symptoms as some stranger on a Yahoo site but face it, the computer can’t tell you if you’re pregnant. Stop it right now! You just spent all week at work on the computer. Enjoy a stress-free weekend!


Please get off your computer, go back under the covers and then treat yourself to a yummy, high-fat breakfast






#995 You haven’t drank alcohol in 4 years, just in case


You really miss the occasional glass of wine or cool sip of beer. Let’s face it, you have been ttc for months or years and you could really use some alcohol. But you don’t, just in case. You might slip up and have a sip on occasion. But in general, you are as sober as they come. Now, when you get your period, it is the best time to drink or get drunk.

While it may not be four years...this in fact is why I dont drink! If you stuck it out to read the blog...you now know my secret. And please dont start on your reasons of why its OKAY to drink while if you didn't know you were pregnant-no I dont care if your sister, cousin, best friend, mother or any one else did. I refuse!


#983 You have no idea what an "accidental pregnancy" means


Your friend tells you that she got pregnant ‘by accident.’ You heard that another friend wasn’t even trying and she got pregnant. A co-worker forgot to take her birth control and she got pregnant. Another just coughed, and she got pregnant with twins. Well, congratulations! We are so happy for you.



What in the world is an ‘accidental pregnancy?’ How is that even possible we wonder.


We have all heard stories about someone getting ‘accidentally pregnant’ but everyone who is having trouble conceiving knows accidental pregnancies cannot exist. My co-worker claimed ’she wasn’t even trying’ when she drank too much one night and ended up pregnant on the first time. A few years ago, the condom broke for us and that did not result in an ‘accidental pregnancy.’ It resulted in us purchasing better quality condoms (although we all wish we threw out those condoms years ago).


For us infertiles, the correct definition of accidental pregnancy actually means:


trying to conceive naturally for a year without any luck, then going to a fertility doctor, then enjoying all those internal tests, forcing your husband to get an uncomfortable sperm test (no, it’s not like you see in the movies), then trying fertility drugs mixed with sticking needles in our butts, then paying $20,000 for fertility treatments and then FINALLY after 6 years, getting pregnant only to go onto have secondary infertility.


That, my friends, is the real definition for ‘accidental pregnancy.’

Okay okay, I admit it...Im a sore loser. I hate hearing someone is pregnant, ESP when they haven't tried, don't know how they feel about it, are sad about it, have 4 kids already they don't care about, or got off birth control & 'omg like no way I got pregnant' Shut up and be sensitve..thanks! Now I haven't had it quite this extreme,  I know others who have. And its just crazy..Ive been told over and over again to relax... YES because its that simple!

#688 Your Infertility Confessions



When you desperately want to have a baby, you have a lot of private thoughts that you’d rather not share with the world. Your best friend doesn’t need to know that you sobbed in a public bathroom after she told you she was pregnant (and those weren’t tears of happiness). Your husband doesn’t need to know that you’ve actually touched your own cervical mucus; and your pregnant Facebook friend doesn’t need to know that you’ve hidden her so you don’t have to see her growing belly photos. You have a few infertility confessions.



Here are some of your infertility confessions that you were actually willing to share.



“If you go out to eat and your waitress is pregnant, do you think it is wrong to ask to be moved or for a different waitress? In the past, I have had waitresses complain about being pregnant and I just don’t want to hear it…” -Brianna

 “I’m was terribly afraid to pee after my embryo transfer because I was afraid I would pee my future babies out. Instead, I held it in until my husband drove over a speed bump and I wet myself in the car.” -Kailey


“You find yourself giving bad baby name advice because you’re scared all the good ones will be gone before you actually get to have one. Your best friend calls you with the news – she’s pregnant! You’re trying really hard to be happy for her and not bitter like you usually are. Somewhere deep down. you’re trying to make small talk about the baby-to-be and ask, “so have you thought of any names yet?”. You’ve nailed down firm names for your first 3 boys and 5 girls that haven’t materialized yet – What if someone takes something off of your list? So you start giving really bad baby name advice – just picking the ones that are the furthest away from anything that you’d ever choose. “Oh sure,” You say, “I looooooove the name Bertha. So soft, so delicate. And Ursula doesn’ remind me at all of that horrible witch that tried to kill the little mermaid. What was that last one? What? HOW do you spell that? Oh sure, that sounds FABULOUS! I really think you should go with that one… that you just said… that I can’t pronounce…” -StarJumper

 “You dumpster dive for used pregnancy tests! Ok, maybe not dumpster dive…but you pick through your garbage to further analyze a BFN test-despite the fact you stared at it off and on for the whole night prior….I can’t be the only one who has done this?” – Alexandra’s Mom


“You are relieved when you see another woman carry a tampon into a bathroom stall, or when you hear that packaging crinkling and unwrapping from the stall next to you. “Yay, she’s not pregnant!!” There are always a million pregnant women all around you, but you’ve just found one who is not! Of course, she’s not even trying, and once she does she’ll get pregnant immediately, but for now, she’s dealing with AF just like you are.” -Tiffany



“During my two week wait, I squeeze my breasts to see if they feel more swollen. I do this a lot and yes, in public.” -Marie

 “I use to chart my basal temperature every morning. When it seemed like my temperature wasn’t increasing, I would take it out of my mouth and run the thermometer under hot water. Sadly, it would make me happy that the temperature got hotter.” -Sammie

LOVE LOVE LOVE^^^

#692 Dear Fertility Santa



Dear Santa,PS. I really am nice person...and I really am happy for you when your pregnant...but no I dont care how to hear about how sick you are...maybe you should just be thankful your sick. And no sorry I have noo pitty for you that your child didn't sleep at all, and that your tired, or that you dont get help from your husband...why? Because I would kill for all of those things. And plus your husband isn't helping-maybe you should try to talk to him..if it still doesn't work out...and its that bad, you should probably leave him. Just throwing that out there! So no, don't expect ANY pitty from this girl..plus if you don't want your kids-I'd be glad to take them!:)
Me again! How’s it going? Mrs. Clause treating you well? Santa, I have been a very good girl this year. I have taken my folic acid on a daily basis (minus last month when I said “screw you, folic acid” during a very crampy menstrual period). I have stuck a thermometer in my mouth every single morning to chart my temperature (and have only cheated twice by taking my temperature after my shower). Even last week when we went out for dinner, I didn’t look at the toilet paper once when I went to the bathroom at Mork’s Fine Steakhouse. Santa, I was a very good girl when my husband had a three day business trip during my peak ovulation period. I only overacted a little bit by begging him to stay home, then crying later over a bowl of mint chip ice cream. Then there was the time when I acted super strong after my cycle failed and then cried only a little in front of a Wal-Mart cashier named Teresa. I was even really good after my friend Bessie-Sue posted all her pregnancy belly photos on Facebook (if you refer to photo number 45 called “My Six Month Belly Picture,” you will even see that I nicely commented, “Hey Bessie-Sue, your belly looks great!” That’s pretty darn nice, if you ask me.
Santa, my husband has also been a very good boy. He went for his semen analysis test without putting up a fuss. He didn’t get mad at me when I made him watch a documentary called, “I’m Infertile, Now What?” and he even took vitamins to increase his sperm count, (even when it strangely also increased the hair on his back). There was also the time when his sister got pregnant with her third accidental baby and he spared telling me until we got home. I’d say that this year, we have been both pretty darn good.

Please fill our stockings with baby dust and fill our Christmas tree with light and hope and determination. Please bring us strength and optimism and fill our hearts with positive thoughts in the new year
With Love, Infertile in the City
P.S. Santa, please also throw in some hope for our friends who don’t celebrate Christmas. They also need a bit of Mazel in their Tovs too.


#694 Your First Thoughts after the Dreaded Pregnancy Announcement


When you find out someone is pregnant, a normal first reaction is “Wow. Congratulations! That is great news. I’m so happy for you!” But you’re an infertile and that’s typically not your first thought even if you don’t want to admit it.




YOUR DAD: “Cousin Martha just called. She is pregnant! Isn’t that great news!”



YOU: (Right or wrong, your first inner thought will probably include one or more of the following thoughts)…

1.Are you kidding me? She just got married.
2.How many people are going to get pregnant before it’s our turn already!
3.Great. Now everyone is pregnant but me.
4.But she already has a two year old!
5.But we started trying long before she did.
6.What the fertile! She’s still so bloody young.
7.What the fertile! She’s still in school and he has no money.
8.Wow. He really must have super sperm to get her pregnant so quickly.
9.Good for her.***
10.So, who cares? Why are you telling me this?***

***Note: You will tend to have a more bitter and envious thought should a pregnancy announcement occur during your period or following a failed cycle and negative pregnancy test.
YOUR REAL RESPONSE: “That’s great news, dad. Pass along my congratulations. I’m so happy for them."
You respond this way because it’s not socially acceptable to become a raging infertile lunatic in public, because you are strong and you refuse to show anyone your jealous and bitter side, because you know it’s actually good news even if it doesn’t feel that way, because one day it will be your turn too. You respond this way simply because you are awesome, even if you don’t always remember that.

#704 Insider Tips: Ways to Drive an Infertile Crazy


We’re hormonal, pregnancy-obsessed, baby bump envious, addicted to fertility drugs, a tad crazy at times but lovable all the same! But (somewhere) underneath the hysterical sobbing and emotional breakdowns, we still keep our sense of humor.
Here are some infertile “insider tips” on how to (have fun with) and make an infertile go absolutely crazy.

1.Tell us how you got pregnant on your first try and then complain about your pregnancy symptoms.
2.Ask us to take weekly photos of your pregnancy belly and then ask us to post them on Facebook FOR you.
3.When we come to your house, stain all of your toilet paper bright red.
4.Playfully hide all of our time-sensitive fertility medication.
5.Tell us that our fertility clinic telephoned but you can’t remember the message.
6.Tell us a story about someone you know who adopted and then suddenly got pregnant.
7.Tell us to relax and stop trying so it will just happen.
8.Use the acronym ‘BFN’ when referring to your cousin Billy F. Newman.
9.Complain about your children, daily.
10.Ask us to pick up some diapers and baby products for you.
11.Wait until the first day of our period and then ask us to help plan your baby shower.
12.Tell us that you accidentally spilled our fertility medication into the toilet.
13.Remind us of how old we are and still do not have children.
14.Ask us if we’re pregnant yet.

Okay Im done for now:) Sure was fun though...be sure to go to actual page...theres so much more! And I promise you will be addicted in no time!:)










You thought for sure you were pregnant this time… You are three days late and you decide to use a public restroom only to find your stupid period has arrived. You spend a few minutes sobbing quietly in the stall, wipe your tears away and slowly walk back to the table, pretending nothing has happened. You mention your breakdown to no one until you get home and sob to your partner.


Note: you may have also sobbed in the other following toilets: the gym, a friends’ house, work (definitely work), shopping mall, an airplane, the list goes on and on