Depression, drama, loving friends-a bit of everything!

Latley, I have been super depressed. I'm not sure if its the miscarriage finally hitting home...or the drama between friends, or seeing soo many other girls going through a miscarriage, or the fact that everyone is pregnant...or what the deal. But its causing someeee depression.

Latley, there has been a lot of drama between friends, its really breaking my heart because I feel like Im put in the middle of it. But for ONCE in my life I am doing EXACTLY what I want, and not what others want. And that is staying friends with everyone that I want to be friends with. Everyone has told me you can't stay friends with both sides of friends...but I am here to prove that if I want too..Im going to do JUST that. I see both sides, and why each person involved are upset, but for onceee Im staying friends with all invloved!

I have gotten a lot closer to this girrrrl lately..JESS thats you! haha..I just want to say (again) I am so sorry for ever not liking you haha.."If you judge someone you have NOO time to love them".  That quote reminds me a lot of life, but I feel like the past few weeks Ive gotten a lot closer to you, and Im really glad<3

AMBER....You know what...Im heartbroken that we spend that last few months not talking. I really am...your an amazing person. And I promise you-nothing comes in the middle of our friendship this time. I am really sorry for everything that happend over the summer...from the bottem of my heart, I am sorry. Im so glad that I brought Sandras present from you haha...because if I wouldn't have, we wouldn't be back to being friends again.

Joslyn-Though we haven't talked, and we may never talk again..I just think you should know you were right. If you wouldnt have called us ALL out for talking about people, I would be still doing what I was, I wouldn't have talked to Sam Or Jess, I would have continued to listen to the negative things that others said..and sadly, I probably would have never gotten close to Sam & Jess, I realize you didn't get along with them, and I now realize that not everyone will always get along & that REALLY is okay! Thank you for showing me I was being a shity ass person.

Okayyyy I just wanted to tell those girls something..

People come into your lives maybe for a short time or maybe for a long time, but theres always a reason. I have learned soo much about myself and about people this year, and Im glad. As much as some girls reallly hurt me, I realize that it was because of them I am who I am today. And I thank them.

You know, a wise women tellls me ALL The time (LOL) that they don't have the engery to listen to my drama, (But she always does because shes the best) so how do I have time to deal with it. And good lord SANDRA you couldn't be more right. I just want to hang out with people, and have a great time! I dont want to worry about whose talking about me, or whose talking about who...

I am so thankful for the amazing friends in my life-and I hope that the ones I have now  PLEASE STAY. You guys are amazing...Each of you are great in your own ways...and I love you all<3

I grew up a lot after my last miscarriage, and I seem to already be growing up after this one. I just hope that the friends I have now stick right by my side & don't go anywhere...but if they DO leave...I will know there was a reason they came into my life.

Sometimes I feel so much better justttt writing random stuff, I really don't even care if anyone actually read its haha...just writing makes me feel A LOT better!!!

With all that being said-looks like my period is coming pretty soon, anyone who doesn't deal with infertitly doesn't understand WHY in the would I would be so happy about this...butttt if my period comes soon that means my cycle is going to stay on track, and THAT my friends is a great thing!

Alright, Im done<3