Different Answers

I was thinking about how I talk to different people, and its quite funny actually.

If your like me you have different answers to the question 'how are you doing'.

When your talking to your friends who have it all and are totally happy in life, you tell them your GREAT. & you tell them all the great things that are happening in your life. You don't dare tell them the truth, why so they can think 'ha my life is even better then I thought'. No no no, I let them think everything is perfect!

When your talking to someone random that you don't talk to very often, you will either say good or great, depending on how their doing in their life, if things are great for them right now-you tell them your great. If thinks are going pretty bad, you tell them the truth 'yeah thinks are ugly for me right now too' and then you can connect on that level.

When your talking to someone that has went through what you are currently going through, somedays you don't want to talk so you will go ahead and tell them your going alright...because you know the will know if you say your GREAT. Somedays you will let them know how your REALLY doing, because you know they will be able to actually help you.

Your senstive friend-they might not have a clue how your feeling, but somehow they always know the right things to say, and are such great listeners. You usually tell them the flat out truth-look Im depressed as hell, and I can't pull myself out.

Its the same when you tell someone your pregnant ((WELL IT SHOULD BE)). Like when I told everyone this time, I told everyone in a different way...the people I knew were trying for a while, just miscarried or can't have kids "hey I just wanted to let you know Im pregnant"...to your friends who got pregnant on the first try, or already have kids, or who aren't going to give a shit if your pregnant or not its "IM PREGNANT:)". I was reading a blog about this actually, and its funny a lot of women don't even think to be senstive to your infertile friend, or your friend over there that doesn't have a problem getting pregnant, its staying pregnant. But I suppose how would you know what they felt if you never went through it. I mean if you follow my blogs, and talk to me, you should have learned by now. haha...but what about those people in world that dont have friends like me. A lot of times being infertile isn't something that girls will broadcast, some people thing its a very private matter...while others thing that if I'm stuck dealing with this your going to hear bout it...((haha that would be me!)).

It just amazes me that I feel like I can't fully be myself around certain people, I should be able to tell EVERYONE the truth about how Im feeling, and not feel like Im going to be judged. We all have bad days, and everyone goes through things in their lives that they are going to be upset about...so why do we feel like we are being judged about it. I understand what I have went through in my life, is NOTHING compared to the things other people have went through, but that doesn't mean I should be happy go lucky alllll the time. Even though I feel like I have to.

The saddest thing is people are reading this thinking, why does she feel like she can't be herself, well here is why...because I listen to the things people say, and they stay with me. If I've ever heard to talk bad about someones problems, esp if I go through the same thing later...of course I am going to be like ooookay note to self, don't talk to that her, she will be judging you.