Have you ever looked at yourself and though, wow I really need to change? Well I dont know about you, but I have. and Im going to do everything in my power to change myself.
For starters, I cuss way to much. I have known this FOREVER and have tried to quit before...but it was so hard then I eventually just gave up. Well first off, I want to start going to church again and being a better person. The best place to start is with my horrible mouth. Second off, Im about to have a child. And I don't want my child running around saying the F bomb. So what better time to stop then NOW. I don't think this is going to be easy, by any means but Im going to try. I like to think of myself as a nice person, but I tend to have a temper, I get mad easily...Im deff working on changing that. My poor husband gets yelled at for the stupidest things (which I have to say starting that right now with raging hormones should be fun, ha). I want to start helping people out more, I want to donate my time. I want to HELP people. There is no better feeling then helping people.
Also, I want to change my relationship with GOD. I believe in GOD, I pray, I love him. But I'm not good enough for him, I need to be better. I went to this thing today, it was PWOC meeting thing. Where Sara Horn was the guest speaker about her book she wrong GOD strong. Shes a military wive, so she understands all that we go through. And she was just an amazing speaker. She talked about her relationship with the Lord, and it moved me...it made me want to be closer to God. I have wanted to for a while, but this really got me pushed in the right direction. And I am so thankful, esp to Amanda who invited us to come out. I am so glad I did. Sara talked about her marriage and how she used to lean on her husband for everything, but she then learned that he is her partner, and GOD is the one she should be leaning on, depending on for everything. Everything she said made such perfect sense. It was really amazing. I am really hoping that I will start going to this church and fit right in, so I can be a better person. The person I know is deep down in there.
Changing yourself is never easy, but I really think if you set your mind to something you will be able to do it. I just usually end up giving up..way to soon.
Justin is also making a huge change in his life...smoking. He hasn't had a cigg since yesterday at about 1. I am so proud of him. He really wants to quit, and this time it wasn't me forcing his hand. He came to me and told me he was going to quit. We both really hope he can quit, but I think we both understand how hard its going to be. Right now hes in combatives for the next month, and he doesn't have much time to smoke if at all...so that is helping him a lot he said. Even if he does end up starting back up, Im really proud of him for at least trying. Im thinking if just quitting doesn't work for him maybe he can go get the patches and try those..or something. It goes with if you set your mind to something you can do it! And I will be praying that GOD helps him through this:) I just really hope he does quit because I'm worried about having a baby, and him being a smoker. Even though he will go outside to smoke and wash his hands the smoke will be on his clothes...and hes not going to take a shower every time he has a cigg, I mean come on. I know that they say don't let anyone smoke around you durning pregnancy or around your child because of how bad it is for your child. Thats one of the things about SIDS..so I really want the smoking gone..I am praying:)
On to another matter. Sears heroes at home, they are amazing. They give away giftcards to military families every year. The problem is, thousands of people are waiting to sign up once the timer starts, so it causes glitches really bad. This year it was birthdays..certain birthdays made it so you couldn't register. So after about 40 mins of it being open they ended up closing it down, I talked to a lady at sears she told me they will be re-opening it, we just don't know when. So you have to follow the site, Im just going to follow it, and if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. Obviously someone else needed it more then we did. But my problem was how many wives were complaining and being down right RUDE about it. Yes its annoying to spend hours trying to sign up, and then not getting to. The thing is though, its a blessing that they would even DO this for us every year, they give away sooo much money and thats amazing. They help so many families so to complain n be down right rude isn't helping, all its going to do is make them decide to stop doing this for us. So while yes, its frustrating its not sears fault. Not to mention this isn't something you DESERVE, its something you are blessed with, remember this.
Thats all for today:)
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