Have you ever looked at yourself and though, wow I really need to change? Well I dont know about you, but I have. and Im going to do everything in my power to change myself.
For starters, I cuss way to much. I have known this FOREVER and have tried to quit before...but it was so hard then I eventually just gave up. Well first off, I want to start going to church again and being a better person. The best place to start is with my horrible mouth. Second off, Im about to have a child. And I don't want my child running around saying the F bomb. So what better time to stop then NOW. I don't think this is going to be easy, by any means but Im going to try. I like to think of myself as a nice person, but I tend to have a temper, I get mad easily...Im deff working on changing that. My poor husband gets yelled at for the stupidest things (which I have to say starting that right now with raging hormones should be fun, ha). I want to start helping people out more, I want to donate my time. I want to HELP people. There is no better feeling then helping people.
Also, I want to change my relationship with GOD. I believe in GOD, I pray, I love him. But I'm not good enough for him, I need to be better. I went to this thing today, it was PWOC meeting thing. Where Sara Horn was the guest speaker about her book she wrong GOD strong. Shes a military wive, so she understands all that we go through. And she was just an amazing speaker. She talked about her relationship with the Lord, and it moved me...it made me want to be closer to God. I have wanted to for a while, but this really got me pushed in the right direction. And I am so thankful, esp to Amanda who invited us to come out. I am so glad I did. Sara talked about her marriage and how she used to lean on her husband for everything, but she then learned that he is her partner, and GOD is the one she should be leaning on, depending on for everything. Everything she said made such perfect sense. It was really amazing. I am really hoping that I will start going to this church and fit right in, so I can be a better person. The person I know is deep down in there.
Changing yourself is never easy, but I really think if you set your mind to something you will be able to do it. I just usually end up giving up..way to soon.
Justin is also making a huge change in his life...smoking. He hasn't had a cigg since yesterday at about 1. I am so proud of him. He really wants to quit, and this time it wasn't me forcing his hand. He came to me and told me he was going to quit. We both really hope he can quit, but I think we both understand how hard its going to be. Right now hes in combatives for the next month, and he doesn't have much time to smoke if at all...so that is helping him a lot he said. Even if he does end up starting back up, Im really proud of him for at least trying. Im thinking if just quitting doesn't work for him maybe he can go get the patches and try those..or something. It goes with if you set your mind to something you can do it! And I will be praying that GOD helps him through this:) I just really hope he does quit because I'm worried about having a baby, and him being a smoker. Even though he will go outside to smoke and wash his hands the smoke will be on his clothes...and hes not going to take a shower every time he has a cigg, I mean come on. I know that they say don't let anyone smoke around you durning pregnancy or around your child because of how bad it is for your child. Thats one of the things about SIDS..so I really want the smoking gone..I am praying:)
On to another matter. Sears heroes at home, they are amazing. They give away giftcards to military families every year. The problem is, thousands of people are waiting to sign up once the timer starts, so it causes glitches really bad. This year it was birthdays..certain birthdays made it so you couldn't register. So after about 40 mins of it being open they ended up closing it down, I talked to a lady at sears she told me they will be re-opening it, we just don't know when. So you have to follow the site, Im just going to follow it, and if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. Obviously someone else needed it more then we did. But my problem was how many wives were complaining and being down right RUDE about it. Yes its annoying to spend hours trying to sign up, and then not getting to. The thing is though, its a blessing that they would even DO this for us every year, they give away sooo much money and thats amazing. They help so many families so to complain n be down right rude isn't helping, all its going to do is make them decide to stop doing this for us. So while yes, its frustrating its not sears fault. Not to mention this isn't something you DESERVE, its something you are blessed with, remember this.
Thats all for today:)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I haven't had a drama blog in a while!
I'm so over drama at Ft. Bliss. A while had went by with none, and then suddenly boom drama. I dont know why people feel the need to lie about things, if you want to say the TRUTH fine..but don't go fucking lying. The only reason someone should feel the need to lie is because they want to make themselves look better. Dude, grow up. No one cares what you have to say. I'm pissed though, I opened up my house to this bitch, and this is what she does? Lieeee...and talk shit. And Im pissed too because I could have just let it pass and said fuck it, who cares if the other person talked shit about me...but nooo Kim can't let shit go without getting to the truth. Whatever.
New rule: I don't give a fuck. If you don't want to be my friend, byeeee. I have plenty of amazing friends that don't talk shit about me behind my back. Which is why I didn't find it hard at all to block & delete this person. I can be civil if they were at an event Im at...(which will never happen). Buttt if it was. I just wouldn't talk to her, who cares.
I am so glad Im about to have a baby, so I can use the excuse I don't have time for this bullshit. Im so over explaining myself to people, I feel like Im always defending myself & no one believes me anyways. So why bother? I might as well say 'Well you don't believe me so sure I said it'. I will never understand why people say things OUT LOUD in a group full of people but then when confronted lie out their ass. Or get pissed off, umm you said it? So why are you mad that it got out? I have changed so much since last year...I have LEARNED to keep my mouth shut around certain people. Of course when this girl was saying 'your friend was saying this, this, this oh and this about you' I wanted to BLOWWW UP...I wanted to say soo much, I was soo pissed off. Instead I said 'Oh thats awesome to know that she talked shit about me, I guess she really doesn't want to be my friend at all. O-well Im not going to let it bother me'. <--ohh it bothered me. But you never would have known at the party because I wasn't going to allow it to happen. But of course, saying the right things don't matter because people just get pissed that you didn't feed into their bullshit and make stuff up anyways. Even so, I still know in my HEART what I said..and that makes me so proud because I could have off the deep end...but instead I kept my cool. Thats great for me..*pats self on the back* because that doesn't happen often haha.
Oh, and Im not going to fucking SAY this again. NEVERRR ONCE did I make fun of someone for a miscarriage. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NOT ONEEEE PERSON MY ENTIRE LIFE. And if you think I did, you need to grow some fucking balls and say it to my face. Because this is like the millionth time this shit has been brought up. Did I make fun of her for being pregnant, yessss we had jokes at her expense. But when I found out she lost the baby, I felt HORRIBLE FOR HER. Because I KNOWWW what that feels like. Do I hate the bitch, very much. But that doesn't mean I don't share her pain on that level. I would never make fun of someone for having a miscarriage. And Im sick of people fucking saying that. And they obviously can't say it to my face..sooo yeah. It just pisses me off because a BESTT FRIEND told me this one girl was talking shit about me for something totally stupid about my pregnancy...and in the same sentence of me making fun of HER for something linking to that...Im like yeah Im pissed but I really hope she stays pregnant this time, Im praying for her to stay pregnant. Because I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. Talk shit about all day, and Ill talk shit about you back....but Id never wish bad upon you for having a miscarriage. and Id be there for you if you had one. Because I just can't turn my back on someone for that, I know how lonely it can be..and I want EVERYONE (even stupid whores) to know that they aren't alone! This pisses me off more then ever because I have been around A FEW people who have said things bout people deserving everything the get, or GOD punishing them...and it makes me sick to my stomach because is that why I lost my babies? No thats not...but if you think that about them you probably think that about me. So yeah I want to throw up when someone says anything rude about someone having a miscarriage.
I'm so over caring seriously. I'm going to turn into a bitch who doesn't care. :) I know I say this all the time, but I have had enough. People are always going to lie...they will go out of their way to talk shit about you, instead of being like 'hey I heard this, it hurts was that true'. Even if they LIE their assssss off..at least you tried to get down to the bottom of it...although it doesn't matter...I tell the truth & people still don't believe me -so fuck it:D
And this ends my bitchy blog about people:D
New rule: I don't give a fuck. If you don't want to be my friend, byeeee. I have plenty of amazing friends that don't talk shit about me behind my back. Which is why I didn't find it hard at all to block & delete this person. I can be civil if they were at an event Im at...(which will never happen). Buttt if it was. I just wouldn't talk to her, who cares.
I am so glad Im about to have a baby, so I can use the excuse I don't have time for this bullshit. Im so over explaining myself to people, I feel like Im always defending myself & no one believes me anyways. So why bother? I might as well say 'Well you don't believe me so sure I said it'. I will never understand why people say things OUT LOUD in a group full of people but then when confronted lie out their ass. Or get pissed off, umm you said it? So why are you mad that it got out? I have changed so much since last year...I have LEARNED to keep my mouth shut around certain people. Of course when this girl was saying 'your friend was saying this, this, this oh and this about you' I wanted to BLOWWW UP...I wanted to say soo much, I was soo pissed off. Instead I said 'Oh thats awesome to know that she talked shit about me, I guess she really doesn't want to be my friend at all. O-well Im not going to let it bother me'. <--ohh it bothered me. But you never would have known at the party because I wasn't going to allow it to happen. But of course, saying the right things don't matter because people just get pissed that you didn't feed into their bullshit and make stuff up anyways. Even so, I still know in my HEART what I said..and that makes me so proud because I could have off the deep end...but instead I kept my cool. Thats great for me..*pats self on the back* because that doesn't happen often haha.
Oh, and Im not going to fucking SAY this again. NEVERRR ONCE did I make fun of someone for a miscarriage. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NOT ONEEEE PERSON MY ENTIRE LIFE. And if you think I did, you need to grow some fucking balls and say it to my face. Because this is like the millionth time this shit has been brought up. Did I make fun of her for being pregnant, yessss we had jokes at her expense. But when I found out she lost the baby, I felt HORRIBLE FOR HER. Because I KNOWWW what that feels like. Do I hate the bitch, very much. But that doesn't mean I don't share her pain on that level. I would never make fun of someone for having a miscarriage. And Im sick of people fucking saying that. And they obviously can't say it to my face..sooo yeah. It just pisses me off because a BESTT FRIEND told me this one girl was talking shit about me for something totally stupid about my pregnancy...and in the same sentence of me making fun of HER for something linking to that...Im like yeah Im pissed but I really hope she stays pregnant this time, Im praying for her to stay pregnant. Because I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. Talk shit about all day, and Ill talk shit about you back....but Id never wish bad upon you for having a miscarriage. and Id be there for you if you had one. Because I just can't turn my back on someone for that, I know how lonely it can be..and I want EVERYONE (even stupid whores) to know that they aren't alone! This pisses me off more then ever because I have been around A FEW people who have said things bout people deserving everything the get, or GOD punishing them...and it makes me sick to my stomach because is that why I lost my babies? No thats not...but if you think that about them you probably think that about me. So yeah I want to throw up when someone says anything rude about someone having a miscarriage.
I'm so over caring seriously. I'm going to turn into a bitch who doesn't care. :) I know I say this all the time, but I have had enough. People are always going to lie...they will go out of their way to talk shit about you, instead of being like 'hey I heard this, it hurts was that true'. Even if they LIE their assssss off..at least you tried to get down to the bottom of it...although it doesn't matter...I tell the truth & people still don't believe me -so fuck it:D
And this ends my bitchy blog about people:D
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
lalalala
I should be waiting till tomorrow to post this, after my doctors appointment. Buttt I wanna write tonight:D
So, today I made my first 'big' baby purchase..I bought a jumperoo thingy. It was only $25 on bliss online yard sales...those things are originally 75, I couldn't pass that up. I was excited to see that it's in perfect condition:) It's weird.. baby things starting to come into the house.. makes it feel so much more real. I mean it already feels real, but you know.
I've cried a few times over really dumb things since I have been pregnant, but I knew that would happen. Im an emotional person anyways, add extra hormones to the mix and you got yourself a party. haha. The other day I had my first 'I think I'm going to die day'. Vicki and I went swimming at Annas...and the whole time I just felt like crap..I eventually started crying because I felt so sick....and then laughing because I was crying. Haha. I felt horrible the whole rest of the day, but better once I ate something. The next day was MUCH MUCH better though:) Today I was talking to my mom about how Im going to get fat, and started crying. Not even because Im going to get fat (Im seriously not worried about that), but because I can't eat anything but junk and I feel like I should be eating healthy. I cried hard for a few mins...and then again laughed at myself. When that happens its something I can't even explain -like someone is taking over my body and it's not me. It sure it fun to laugh about later though:p haha.
You know whats crazy. I have noo life at all. Before I was pregnant all I posted about was how depressed I was because I wasn't pregnant and about my miscarriages...now that Im pregnant thats all I blog about. can you say loser? haha.
Nothing has really been going on around here lately. I have been spending an awful lot of time at home because our AC in our car broke down:( And I deff don't wanna drive around in a car with no AC, screw that. We need to get it fixed....sighhhh sooooon. Oh and we had Vickis baby shower over the weekend - a lot of people backed out last min - but it was still so much fun, and we didn't really have any leftovers so it worked out perfect:D Those people missed out on a great time!
You know I can honestly say, I am the happiest I have been in a really long time. And its scary, scary because what if this pregnancy doesn't work out..I dont want to go back to being depressing and in soo much pain. Back to being jealous of every pregnant women. Thats one thing if GOD FORBID it happens that Im going to try to change....not being such a hater to pregnancy..its not their fault. No matter how much pain I am in..it is NOT on them. So hopefully if that happens I can stick to that. Just remembering that I know that SOME HOW SOMEWAY SOMEDAY I will have a child<3 ....just praying that its at the end of March and not later:))
hmm Justin wants to name our son after his dad....I like Aiden, and he SAID he liked it but now hes changing his mind...but for some reason its the only boy name that sticks with me. Aiden Lawrence...hmmm. He likes Logan too..Katies adorable little boys name:) -Logan Lawrence doesn't sound as good though, haha. We still have Alyssa Marie picked out for a girl & he doesn't wanna change that AT ALL. Although I loveee Brooklyn Rose....the only thing about Brooklyn is that I'm not that big of a fan of Brook...hmmm. haha. But I think it would be nice to put my moms name in there...which Marie is her middle name:)
Ohh I can update on Bella -I know this blog is probably so lame haha..I dont write even though I dont have crap to write about haha. Bella is getting soooo big, its kind of depressing. But then its a good thing because I wantttttt her to not be a puppy anymore haha. Everyone said to try to enjoy the puppy stage, and for the MOST part I do. But when she does things like eat most of the cookies for the shower, eat my bread...get into EVERYTHING its hard to notttt want her to grow up. haha. She gets things off the counter that I dont even know HOW she grabs haha. I love her so much, but shes such a big pain! LOL. And she stinks all the time, haha. I know its just my smells are much stronger but good lord her breath makes me wanna puke! LMAO. And her DOG smell, haha. I still give her stinky ass love though! haha. We are trying new tricks of when shes bad...spanking her butt -HARD/putting in her in the kennel. So far it SORT of seems to be working, hah. But she doesn't do anything that normal puppies don't do...I just gotta train her butt! LOL. Today she got out which is the first time in a WHILE because Justin beat her last time and made her stay in the kennel for 2 hours or so haha. This time she just ran around the yard until she was tired and then came back haha. He put her in the kennel anyways haha. In all fairness she probably wouldn't want to run like a crazy person if I would take her on walks, but Im a lazy mommy haha.
Okay Im done boring you:)<3 Kim
So, today I made my first 'big' baby purchase..I bought a jumperoo thingy. It was only $25 on bliss online yard sales...those things are originally 75, I couldn't pass that up. I was excited to see that it's in perfect condition:) It's weird.. baby things starting to come into the house.. makes it feel so much more real. I mean it already feels real, but you know.
I've cried a few times over really dumb things since I have been pregnant, but I knew that would happen. Im an emotional person anyways, add extra hormones to the mix and you got yourself a party. haha. The other day I had my first 'I think I'm going to die day'. Vicki and I went swimming at Annas...and the whole time I just felt like crap..I eventually started crying because I felt so sick....and then laughing because I was crying. Haha. I felt horrible the whole rest of the day, but better once I ate something. The next day was MUCH MUCH better though:) Today I was talking to my mom about how Im going to get fat, and started crying. Not even because Im going to get fat (Im seriously not worried about that), but because I can't eat anything but junk and I feel like I should be eating healthy. I cried hard for a few mins...and then again laughed at myself. When that happens its something I can't even explain -like someone is taking over my body and it's not me. It sure it fun to laugh about later though:p haha.
You know whats crazy. I have noo life at all. Before I was pregnant all I posted about was how depressed I was because I wasn't pregnant and about my miscarriages...now that Im pregnant thats all I blog about. can you say loser? haha.
Nothing has really been going on around here lately. I have been spending an awful lot of time at home because our AC in our car broke down:( And I deff don't wanna drive around in a car with no AC, screw that. We need to get it fixed....sighhhh sooooon. Oh and we had Vickis baby shower over the weekend - a lot of people backed out last min - but it was still so much fun, and we didn't really have any leftovers so it worked out perfect:D Those people missed out on a great time!
You know I can honestly say, I am the happiest I have been in a really long time. And its scary, scary because what if this pregnancy doesn't work out..I dont want to go back to being depressing and in soo much pain. Back to being jealous of every pregnant women. Thats one thing if GOD FORBID it happens that Im going to try to change....not being such a hater to pregnancy..its not their fault. No matter how much pain I am in..it is NOT on them. So hopefully if that happens I can stick to that. Just remembering that I know that SOME HOW SOMEWAY SOMEDAY I will have a child<3 ....just praying that its at the end of March and not later:))
hmm Justin wants to name our son after his dad....I like Aiden, and he SAID he liked it but now hes changing his mind...but for some reason its the only boy name that sticks with me. Aiden Lawrence...hmmm. He likes Logan too..Katies adorable little boys name:) -Logan Lawrence doesn't sound as good though, haha. We still have Alyssa Marie picked out for a girl & he doesn't wanna change that AT ALL. Although I loveee Brooklyn Rose....the only thing about Brooklyn is that I'm not that big of a fan of Brook...hmmm. haha. But I think it would be nice to put my moms name in there...which Marie is her middle name:)
Ohh I can update on Bella -I know this blog is probably so lame haha..I dont write even though I dont have crap to write about haha. Bella is getting soooo big, its kind of depressing. But then its a good thing because I wantttttt her to not be a puppy anymore haha. Everyone said to try to enjoy the puppy stage, and for the MOST part I do. But when she does things like eat most of the cookies for the shower, eat my bread...get into EVERYTHING its hard to notttt want her to grow up. haha. She gets things off the counter that I dont even know HOW she grabs haha. I love her so much, but shes such a big pain! LOL. And she stinks all the time, haha. I know its just my smells are much stronger but good lord her breath makes me wanna puke! LMAO. And her DOG smell, haha. I still give her stinky ass love though! haha. We are trying new tricks of when shes bad...spanking her butt -HARD/putting in her in the kennel. So far it SORT of seems to be working, hah. But she doesn't do anything that normal puppies don't do...I just gotta train her butt! LOL. Today she got out which is the first time in a WHILE because Justin beat her last time and made her stay in the kennel for 2 hours or so haha. This time she just ran around the yard until she was tired and then came back haha. He put her in the kennel anyways haha. In all fairness she probably wouldn't want to run like a crazy person if I would take her on walks, but Im a lazy mommy haha.
Okay Im done boring you:)<3 Kim
Monday, August 15, 2011
changes:)
Hello:)
Well block leave has come to an end, and all my friends are finally back from vaction. So things are going to start going back to normal around here. I have deff missed my routine and what not. Even though it was actually really nice to have Justin around the past 2 weeks. He didn't annoy me too much:P Yesterday and today I was at the pool with my friends. It was nice to get out of the house, but once I get home from these events I am so tried and ready for bed, haha.
Last week I had my doctors appointment. He did an ultrasound and everything looked good. Our baby went from being a dot, to looking more like a baby. He/she had a head and everything. And we got to see the heartbeat. Doctor said it was a good strong heartbeat. That made me feel soo much better. It's so amazing, I have had three ultrasounds so far and just seeing how much the baby has changed in a matter of a few weeks..wow. He did a bunch of blood work last appointment too. I don't go back till the 25th now, but I am very excited. I will be 8 weeks 6 days...so almost 9 weeks when I go back. And the baby will have arms and legs and everything. I get so excited when I think of everything, but then I always start to worry, am I getting too excited...what if someone happens. It sucks to always feel like that, but I know that getting excited isn't going to change anything. And at least I could say I was able to enjoy my pregnancy. I just pray GOD doesn't take this child away from us. So much as changed in my body already, its amazing. My boobs have gotten a little bigger, my face looks like a pizza, my chest is starting to break out, my nipples are poking out (LOL), I throw up almost daily. Its crazy. I have these trackers, and they always tell you what you should be feeling at this point in your pregnancy, and I am proud to say that everything they say,..is happening. It makes me feel a million times better. The only thing it said I should be doing that I wasn't, until the past few days...was start looking at baby stuff. I was like, they do realize Im not even out of my first trimester don't they? Haha. Then I started talking to friends, and a lot of them had stuff planned out already. So that made me feel like its OK to look. I already found the crib/dresser set I want. Its really on sale right now too...but its from JcPennys and they tend to do a lot of sales..so Im going to wait. I want it sooo bad right now. But it just seems too early. If its still on sale, or on sale again after 12 weeks I'll buy it. I know miscarriage can still happen after 12 weeks, but the chances go down a lot. This whole thing is crazy, I sometimes feel like its a dream. But I know its not... <3
I dont have much else to say, so Im going to go lay down & watch some law & order SVU. <3
Well block leave has come to an end, and all my friends are finally back from vaction. So things are going to start going back to normal around here. I have deff missed my routine and what not. Even though it was actually really nice to have Justin around the past 2 weeks. He didn't annoy me too much:P Yesterday and today I was at the pool with my friends. It was nice to get out of the house, but once I get home from these events I am so tried and ready for bed, haha.
Last week I had my doctors appointment. He did an ultrasound and everything looked good. Our baby went from being a dot, to looking more like a baby. He/she had a head and everything. And we got to see the heartbeat. Doctor said it was a good strong heartbeat. That made me feel soo much better. It's so amazing, I have had three ultrasounds so far and just seeing how much the baby has changed in a matter of a few weeks..wow. He did a bunch of blood work last appointment too. I don't go back till the 25th now, but I am very excited. I will be 8 weeks 6 days...so almost 9 weeks when I go back. And the baby will have arms and legs and everything. I get so excited when I think of everything, but then I always start to worry, am I getting too excited...what if someone happens. It sucks to always feel like that, but I know that getting excited isn't going to change anything. And at least I could say I was able to enjoy my pregnancy. I just pray GOD doesn't take this child away from us. So much as changed in my body already, its amazing. My boobs have gotten a little bigger, my face looks like a pizza, my chest is starting to break out, my nipples are poking out (LOL), I throw up almost daily. Its crazy. I have these trackers, and they always tell you what you should be feeling at this point in your pregnancy, and I am proud to say that everything they say,..is happening. It makes me feel a million times better. The only thing it said I should be doing that I wasn't, until the past few days...was start looking at baby stuff. I was like, they do realize Im not even out of my first trimester don't they? Haha. Then I started talking to friends, and a lot of them had stuff planned out already. So that made me feel like its OK to look. I already found the crib/dresser set I want. Its really on sale right now too...but its from JcPennys and they tend to do a lot of sales..so Im going to wait. I want it sooo bad right now. But it just seems too early. If its still on sale, or on sale again after 12 weeks I'll buy it. I know miscarriage can still happen after 12 weeks, but the chances go down a lot. This whole thing is crazy, I sometimes feel like its a dream. But I know its not... <3
I dont have much else to say, so Im going to go lay down & watch some law & order SVU. <3
Friday, August 5, 2011
everything happens for a reason
I haven't posted for a little bit so I figured I'd just write.
Nothing new is really going on. Justins on leave so we have been spending A LOT time at home. Usually I would be complaining to the MAX about that, but honestly. My bed is where I feel the best, I don't feel the need to leave the house. In fact I don't want to leave the house. I used to never hang out in my room, I was always in the living room with Justin....on the computer while he would play his video games. But lately, the bed is just so much more comfortable:)
When I first found out I was pregnant I was a little sick, like normal when I got my period...I still felt like I was going to get my period for a few days. As time went on my stomach started feeling...weird. Painful at time, I was a little worried..but I knew I never felt those things before so I was hoping it was normal. Now that Im 6 weeks...today:). The past few days I have had my stomach rolling around, its the weirdest feeling ever. Before I used to gag and then nothing...I still ate just not as much! But now as the days are passing, food doesn't sound good at all. I try EVERYTHING to think of something anything I could possibly eat! Then I try...and I gag and thats that. Its crazyyyy. Yesterday I threw up for the first time, that was soo exciting. REALLY NASTY, but so amazing. haha. Who gets excited over that? Today I woke up & didn't feel too hott, but thats the new 'normal' for me. So I didn't eat anything...just ate some lifesavor mints that Joslyn brought over --they are lifesavers, like FOR REAL lol. Then I had like a hand full of dry cereal, and within 10mins or so.....more puking! As I am you know, doing that...and my eyes are watering and Im 'crying'...and thinking THIS IS SO NASTY. I am thinking, this is probably the most amazing thing ever. I can't believe this is truly happening. Is this for real? Of course I am only 6 weeks....the HIGH RISK weeks of miscarriage end at 12...so thats 6 more weeks. Not to mention that doesn't mean ohh Im 12 weeks can't lose the baby. But Im starting to feel better everyday. And just keeping faith that GOD will take care of us<3
I don't know if I posted about my doctors appointment yet, I can't remember. But I got an ultrasound, it was amazing. To see how much the baby had grown, in just a week! Then he decided he for sure wants to give me hormones, just in case. They are vaginal inserts..I put them in 2 twice a day. And I will keep using them for 6 more weeks! So hopefully between those and the amazing work of GOD everything out!!
We were supposed to go home this week. Doctor said it was totally safe and everything. On tuesday we packed up & hit the road. We were driving about 2 hours when the AC broke. We drove another 30mins or so to see if it would kick back on. Then when we saw it wasn't...we decided it was best to turn around. It was sooo hot in that car. Those 2 hours back were HELLLLL. My poor Bella, she looked like she was going to die by the time those 2 hours were over. She was panting soo hard...she was crying...it was really sad. I felt horrible. And as soon as we walked into the house she laid down on the floor and didn't move for a while! Poor little girl. Justin was hot, but he was okay, hes used to working outside in ACUS in this crap. Me on the other hand...idky but I was sweating like a pig..I was wearing almost no clothes. My face was BEAT red. I kept drinking a bunch of water...but it wasn't doing any good. We were a little upset about not getting to go home to Michigan..but we know that obviously that AC went out for a reason. I was really concerned with driving cross country anyways..and going on a vaction. But the doctor assured me everything was safe. Over all I am really glad we didn't make that full trip. I know I would have worried the entire time, and bed is probably the safest place for me right now. It does suck that we don't get to see every one until Christmas now...but it will just be that much better when we do see them:)
Well, Im going to back to laying down ((Im in bed just sitting up hah))...and watching my law & order SVU!:))) Thank you NETFLIX:)))
<3 Meeee
Nothing new is really going on. Justins on leave so we have been spending A LOT time at home. Usually I would be complaining to the MAX about that, but honestly. My bed is where I feel the best, I don't feel the need to leave the house. In fact I don't want to leave the house. I used to never hang out in my room, I was always in the living room with Justin....on the computer while he would play his video games. But lately, the bed is just so much more comfortable:)
When I first found out I was pregnant I was a little sick, like normal when I got my period...I still felt like I was going to get my period for a few days. As time went on my stomach started feeling...weird. Painful at time, I was a little worried..but I knew I never felt those things before so I was hoping it was normal. Now that Im 6 weeks...today:). The past few days I have had my stomach rolling around, its the weirdest feeling ever. Before I used to gag and then nothing...I still ate just not as much! But now as the days are passing, food doesn't sound good at all. I try EVERYTHING to think of something anything I could possibly eat! Then I try...and I gag and thats that. Its crazyyyy. Yesterday I threw up for the first time, that was soo exciting. REALLY NASTY, but so amazing. haha. Who gets excited over that? Today I woke up & didn't feel too hott, but thats the new 'normal' for me. So I didn't eat anything...just ate some lifesavor mints that Joslyn brought over --they are lifesavers, like FOR REAL lol. Then I had like a hand full of dry cereal, and within 10mins or so.....more puking! As I am you know, doing that...and my eyes are watering and Im 'crying'...and thinking THIS IS SO NASTY. I am thinking, this is probably the most amazing thing ever. I can't believe this is truly happening. Is this for real? Of course I am only 6 weeks....the HIGH RISK weeks of miscarriage end at 12...so thats 6 more weeks. Not to mention that doesn't mean ohh Im 12 weeks can't lose the baby. But Im starting to feel better everyday. And just keeping faith that GOD will take care of us<3
I don't know if I posted about my doctors appointment yet, I can't remember. But I got an ultrasound, it was amazing. To see how much the baby had grown, in just a week! Then he decided he for sure wants to give me hormones, just in case. They are vaginal inserts..I put them in 2 twice a day. And I will keep using them for 6 more weeks! So hopefully between those and the amazing work of GOD everything out!!
We were supposed to go home this week. Doctor said it was totally safe and everything. On tuesday we packed up & hit the road. We were driving about 2 hours when the AC broke. We drove another 30mins or so to see if it would kick back on. Then when we saw it wasn't...we decided it was best to turn around. It was sooo hot in that car. Those 2 hours back were HELLLLL. My poor Bella, she looked like she was going to die by the time those 2 hours were over. She was panting soo hard...she was crying...it was really sad. I felt horrible. And as soon as we walked into the house she laid down on the floor and didn't move for a while! Poor little girl. Justin was hot, but he was okay, hes used to working outside in ACUS in this crap. Me on the other hand...idky but I was sweating like a pig..I was wearing almost no clothes. My face was BEAT red. I kept drinking a bunch of water...but it wasn't doing any good. We were a little upset about not getting to go home to Michigan..but we know that obviously that AC went out for a reason. I was really concerned with driving cross country anyways..and going on a vaction. But the doctor assured me everything was safe. Over all I am really glad we didn't make that full trip. I know I would have worried the entire time, and bed is probably the safest place for me right now. It does suck that we don't get to see every one until Christmas now...but it will just be that much better when we do see them:)
Well, Im going to back to laying down ((Im in bed just sitting up hah))...and watching my law & order SVU!:))) Thank you NETFLIX:)))
<3 Meeee
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