I must say, ever since I have moved into my new house I don't think I have spent one day alone (like while Justin was at work). I have some really awesome friends that are willing to come over every day and hang out with me. ((Im so much closer now!!)) I just want to let you guys know you hanging out with me really helps pull me out of my depression! Yeah of course Im always going to be depressed about the miscarriages buttt hanging out with you guys really helps. I mostly get horribly sad a night time...but at least durning the day I can have a great time! You guys are the best, thanks so much, for everything! I seriously don't know what I would do without you!<3
So May is going to come in horribly but towards the end of the month I KNOW it will get better! And at the end its going to be amazing. Its going to start bad because I the first week in may I would be finding out the sex of my baby, Id have a bump, Id be getting ready to buy things...so its going to be a little hard. Mile stones will always be hard. But I am strong & I can get through this. Towards the middle of the month I know it will get much much better && then the end of the month is going to be AMAZING because my mom & sister are coming! I can't even wait.
EASTER!:) This year I feel like I really want to do up holidays good because I actually have a house, and I feel like this is 'home' or as close to home as I can get away from home. Last year I just felt like it was an apartment that we lived in lol. So I decorated some stuff, not much but I got some little signs that say easter & spring, got some window clings for the door & decorated my tree with eggs. Im also going to have Easter with some friends over here Im pretty excited:) and then I bought some eggs to do an easter egg hunt for the kids, I can't even wait! If God doesn't want me to have my own kids yet, I can do these things with my friends kids!:) I'm so excited for Easter now lol. Today Jena, Jess, Carah & I went up to the px to decorate cookies it was pretty fun, not what we expected but hey it was still fun:) and then we came back & hung out at my house & we ended up coloring easter eggs (Carahs first time, awesome lol)..it was so fun! I'm soo glad I have friends here that I'm able to do this stuff with!
Army life sucks sometimes. You get close to someone, you grow to love them & think of them as your family, well I mean your army family...and then boom they move. Even the talk about them moving is heartbreaking. Jess is leaving in Aug, its for sure..shes going to Hawaii, shes really lucky & Im super happy for her. Carah has been talking about going to her Kanas since I have met her, its only 3 hours away from her home town, & shes really big on family. So it would be a dream come true for her. & Jena is talking about going to Germany! Its awesome for all of them, but Im not going to lie, it sucks...its sad how close I have gotten to them & now they are just going to pick up & Leave me? haha jk about the me part. Its deff bittersweet, they are going to go get to travel & move...and I know they are going to love it. Butt its sad to see them go. I mean Im super super happy for them, but I certianly wouldn't cry if they lost orders & got stuck here, lmao. Ohhh the army is so amazing, but so horrible haha. Someone is always talking about PCSing, actually pcsing, getting out of the army, moving home for deployment. But I can't say if I wasn't offered to leave this place I wouldn't take it, because we probably would. I love Texas so much, but this is the army life, and thats what we do! We pack, move, follow & build a home wherever we are! ohhhh army, you have been so good to me, but our relationship won't always be like this lol.
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