Friends are forever?

So as some of you know, Im moving in a weeeeeek. Im suppposed to be cleaning right now...and going on post to find boxs..but I am taking a break! ((slacking pretty much haha)). I just started REALLY packing yesterday, and have gotten a lot done so far. My kitchen is almost completely done, and I started to clean it today.. I never realized how dirty it was haha. Oh well, at least I will know what to clean when I move into my **NEW** apartment!!! ahh I am very excited..I thought my year mark would NEVER come haha..even though looking back this year flew by.

On March 3rd it will be a year since we got to Ft. Bliss..so much as happened this past year. I have met soooo many wives, and sooo many of came & gone. They say you meet everyone for a reason, Im starting to understand all of those reasons...even people I only met one time made an impact on me. Each day I feel like Im realizing more & more what TRUE friendship means, and Im even more thankful for the true friends I do have. Latley I have been having a LOT of fun..Justin & I have been hanging out with other couples, guys from his unit that he alreayd works with & Im starting to hang out with thier wifes..they are all so sweet & its been so much fun! and its even better they are in the unit. :) These girls aer so much fun, and the best part is I never have to question if they are talking shit about me once I leave. Im starting to realize more & more that a friend isn't someone that hangs out with you, and is nice to your face, but someone that stays a friend when your back is turned. Everyone used to say in high school that boyfriends come & go but friends are forever...that couldn't be father from the truth in my life. I heard a quote once "You don't go to high school to find your husband, you go to find your bridesmaids". I met my husband, and ONE of my bridesmaids there..the others were family, a friend friend from work & a girl I hardly knew that filled in for someone else. A lot of people feel like they would rather have a couple really close friends then a big group of friends...I feel like this, if I had a couple of girls who were REAL friends, didn't talk shit about me when I left, that would be great. But if they are going to talk about me, Id rather have a big group of REAL friends that I may not be super close to..because I have my best friend, and she doesn't need to be replaced (not that anyone ever could haha). What is the point of being friends with someone if you worry, or know even, that the min you leave something will be said about you. My fav is when people are like 'no I never talk about you'....and everyone is sitting there like oh you don't? because I've heard you say this, this AND this about her. Maybe, we should start busting people out, maybe that would shut them up. haha. But then again maybe thats just part of being a girl? Idk though, I also don't think a friendship should be such hard work. Friends should just be able to have fun together, not worrying about the other one judging them. Like with Sandra, haha I don't worry about that AT ALL why? Because I know if I do something stupid, shes going to tell me...hey your an idiot. But really, who has to WORK to be friends with someone? Shouldn't it just be easy? & who needs to try and impress thier friends, not me..yo if you don't like me for me...just start walking because I am NOTTTT going to change for you. I recently started doing things for myself...and its been a blast. & I have been having fun! Go ahead & judge, because I really don't care anymore!

Pregnancy? I have spend since last April preparing myself to get pregnant, doing everything I can & praying every month it will happen. Now mind you, I didn't get pregnant till Dec, BUTT my periods weren't even regular until Sept/Oct, and I didn't even ovulate till Aug ((while Justin was at Ft. Polk)), so I really didn't have a chance to get pregnant till then....and then I was pregnant by December, so it really didn't take that long. HOWEVER...I was till preparing myself..and doing all this nonsense..and then I finallllllly get pregnant & lose the baby. I've decided, I will deff keep trying, because this miscarriage isn't going to break me. But Im over obessing about it. I will have sex when I oulvate, because of course I will never get pregnant if I don't..but there will be no more trying to save the sperm, having sex like crazy the week I am fertile...I will have sex when I want to, and do what I want. Of course I will keep taking my prenatals because I understand how important it is...I will never drink if I am apporching my fertile point, and will not drink till after my period comes...which gives me about 2weeks a month I can have a drink. But I ruse to let this run my life..I should be enjoying my time with my husband. Because we have time! So for now, I will enjoy all the great things about the fact that I am NOT pregnant...such as, I don't have to get up at any set them, I can go to bed late & sleep in late. I can pick up & go anywhere. If Justin & I want to go on a date, we can go! When we go to an event, I can relax knowning that I don't have a child to cater too...while I can't waittttttt to be a mom, and I would give *ANYTHING* to have it now...I also realize, there are pros! Which I think is helping me realize that it is OK that we aren't going to be parents yet. Someday, we will get our chance, and it will be nothing less then fablous..but for now...I am OK!:)

I think I am done...but Im going to leave on this note.

If you judge someone, you have no time to love them. Think about that next time you meet someone. I used to judge everyone right off the bat, and then it made it harder to get to know & love them. Now that I skip the judging part, I can go right to the loving them part!:)