Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers day to ALL of the Mothers out there, those with children in their arms, those with children in heaven, those children in their hearts and those with children in their dreams! You are all mothers!♥


Two beautiful poems that I wanted to share, for Mothers Day!


Happy Mother's Day
it comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear. 
It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.
But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?
It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.
An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.
She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.
All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.
So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!


I thought of you and closed my eyes. And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say, A mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you? Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women babies. When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime and others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this. God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say, "We go to earth to learn our lessons of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, Oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me, I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy, Oh so much, but I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.'" So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are okay. Your babies are here in MY home and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with ME until your lesson is through. And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother— It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, until their time is done. They'll be up here with ME one day, and know you're the best one.


So of course today is a very hard day, as every mothers day has, since 2007. As the years passed Mothers Day got just a little bit easier. Then I lost the baby this year, sooo back to the painful Mothers Day. I have to say that I have some really amazing family & friends that are there for me. And it means so much that they recognize that I am a mother. Even though my children aren't here with me, they are in Heaven with God. It's kind of crazy, I have so many friends who have lost or just can't get pregnant, and its sad because I know how painful this day is for them. I just want to give them all huge hugs & tell them how amazing they are!<3 


My mom sent me the most AMAZING mothers day gift! She made me a picture with the poem about (makes a mother one), with three beautiful pictures behind it. One is a picture of our lake, one is a double rainbow I took here & the last one is a picture of the sky I took. She send it in a frame, the glass broke, but thats OK. Its beautiful & so perfect. I just can't believe how blessed I am to have such an amazing Mother! I have decided since I have so many remembrance things. & I just got that, and I also ordered this beautiful Angel with her child with an adorable quote, I also have my angel of remembrance, a few little angels & my picture of my ultrasound picture & a picture of me pregnant (my first time) that I am going to buy a shelve for my spare bedroom & then I am going to put all of these things up in that room. Since that room with be the nursery whenever I do get my miracle!<3 That room will be my children's room! I can not even wait to start making that room so perfect. Its deff something that makes me so excited! I finally feel like that isn't just 'a spare room'. Its a special room. 


Yesterday I went with Jena, Jess & Amber to get manicures & pedicures. I must say, it was AMAZING. I had never gotten a pedi before & I can't believe that was what I was missing all of this time! I will DEFF be back. The manicure was awesome too, & I got it just because I was spoiling myself-so I probably won't get manicures anymore because I can just paint my finger nails-or have a friend do it;) But the pedicure, ohhhh yeah. ;) Then I went to a slumber party, it was a lot of fun!:) Except I was sooo sick, and still am. I realized yesterday I only had a bowl of cereal & then a little bit of buffalo chicken dip at the party....and today its already two and I have only had a hunny bun...anyone that knows me knows I eat SOO much. So I must really be sick, I just don't feel hungry. Blah. I'm sure I will feel better soon though!:) 


Tomorrow Justin has CQ, ohhh so fun! & I have my doctors appointment..I cannot even waitttt to meet my doctor & see what he has to say. I REALLY hope that he starts testing tomorrow...and we can see whats going on. I am very excited, but a tad bit nervous. Because you just never know whats going to happen! But I have hope!! 


Well, thats all for today!<3 I hope that everyone has a wonderful Mothers Day.<3