Attachment parenting!

Attachment parenting. It seems to be the topic of discussion lately. I can honestly say I didn't know anything about it before Alyssa was born, and I am kind of glad..heres why..


When I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed...it was something I KNEW if I couldn't do, I would try EVERYTHING and if I couldn't...Id be highly depressed. When I found out they gave Alyssa formula in because her sugar was dropping dramatically, my heart sank. I wanted to cry right then and there...everything I read says NO BOTTLES NO PACIS AND NOO FORMULA. She was just a few hours old and they already broke the rules. I was crushed. When they brought her back to me and she took to the boob I felt much better...I had quite a bit of trouble in the hospital but the staff was amazing support (it was me not her having issues lol). That night Alyssa did A LOT of crying, any time we put her down... I wanted her to sleep with me in my bed but Justin said no way. I would fall asleep with her in my arms & he would wake me up and say no put her down. He even offered to stay away & hold her so I could get some sleep....but he was DEAD set against her sleeping with me. He was way to worried. But MY natural instincts wanted my baby in my bed with me. The next day when they took my baby to the NICU I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces...with every bottle of formula they gave her I wanted to die...I tired to nurse her but it just wasn't working all I wanted she wanted was to sleep in my arms, it broke my heart.

Fast forward to when we brought her home...she was in my arms A LOT I spent a lot of time TRYING to get her to nurse, working on the latch, trying to keep her awake. Anytime only of us wasn't holding it just just didn't feel right to me...but I kept hearing over and over again that you don't want to spoil her so hold her for a few weeks and then put her down a lot...you'll regret if you don't. So my mindset was AS much as I wanted to hold her, I must not allow her to become spoiled. I started to notice that even when she was just sleeping I didn't want to put her down. Again it was those natural instincts kicking in.

A couple days before she turned 2 weeks old we had big problems....she was cluster feeding. But not only was she cluster feeding she would fall asleep on the boob, Id lay her down & less then 30 mins later she woke up screaming...at the time I didn't think anything of it..I just thought she was super hungry (and Im sure growth spurt had a lot to do with it) Well I spent 3 nights in the row on the couch (two of them crying) because my baby wouldn't let me sleep...she would fall asleep and Id let her fall into a deep sleep but as soon as she was out of my arms she was awake. It was REALLY hard. On the 4th night I couldn't take it anymore I told Justin she was sleeping in the bed with us, he was SO against it...begged me not to roll over on her...it was a nightmare. I didn't know what to do. But I followed my gut which said put that baby in your bed. That night we slept great--and almost every night since! I got a lot of shit about how I would kill her, and how Ill never get her out of my bed....but Justin and I agreed we didn't care how long she was in our bed, we would deal with that later. I did a lot of research about co-sleeping and how to do it safely. I got the toddler guard rail, the snuza..and I felt great. (Btw Justin said she could start sleeping with us when she's 1 bc then its not to likely for us to kill her, so he clearly doesn't care about her sleeping with us haha). Since then everything has been perfect, theres always the fear that I will roll over and I don't want to say I won't because Im not going to jinx myself...but we both sleep amazing and are much happier...she LOVES to be by momma what can I say:)

So remember when I said that Im glad I didn't know about attachment parenting before she came? Well the reason why is because then I might have wondered if MAYBE just MAYBE the research and talking to other moms put an influence in my head....but since I did everything before I even know all about it, I can honestly say I just followed my mothering instincts. and for THAT I am thankful! I already had the ergo carrier long before I learned about baby wearing, and I knew I would use it...I just didn't know so many people did wear their babies:) I was told A LOT that you shouldn't pick your kids up for every little cry, but I have since learned that I can't just let her cry. In the car she does, and its horrible. I hate it. Besides, soon enough she's not going to want to be cuddled or loved on so I need to enjoy it while I can. I used to think Id want to kill myself if my child didn't let me put her down..but now I have realized I WANT to hold her. Of course I do want her to play on her play mat, sit in her swing & use her bouncy seat but she does all those things. While Im cooking dinner she comes in the kitchen with me and sits in her bath seat..when I shower she sits in her bouncy seat...where ever I go I bring my little love bug with me! Its perfect!

You may think I am crazy, and thats ok!:) You do whats best for your family, and Ill do whats best for us!  In the end following your instincts is it what is best!:)