Labor & Delivery story!

I am going to attempt to write my labor & delivery story!:)

On Monday the 19th I was sitting around hanging out with Vicki & Gen. I had been having contractions on and off for weeks so contractions that day weren't any different. Around 2 or 3 I guess it was I started to leak a little bit, it was like a gush but with not a ton of water..so I wasn't really sure what it was. I went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was a TINY bit of brown blood..so I assumed it was my mucus plug and decided to try to jump start labor by walking around. Oh I guess I should add that over the entire weekend I was pushing on my pressure points to see if it would work, on Monday Vicki showed me what a dumbass I am & how I was pushing the wrong spot haha. So I held on to them that day.. just to see what would happen;) So anyways Gen left & Vicki & I decided to go walking around the neighborhood. I was stopping every couple mins for contractions but wasn't timing them because the pain wasn't that strong so I figured there was no way it was real labor. We walked for what seemed like miles...really it was only a couple streets over...talk about out of shape LMAO. And then we decided to go back in. I gushed again a few & then realized I hadn't felt Alyssa move at all that day. So I got out the doppler that Joslyn so awesomely let me borrow for my entire pregnancy:)) And her heartbeat was only at 130...I got scared so I called L&D and let them know everything that had happened that day. They said everything was okay except for the leaking & I needed to come get checked out. This was at 5pm...so I called Justin & told him what was going on...we both agreed I wasn't in labor so he took his friend home LOL...meanwhile I was taking a bath seeing if the contractions would stop (because they had started up again) and when he got home we took a shower...I got to the hospital at 6:45...yeah we took our time haha. I was planning on putting our bags in the car that night anyway so I figured that wasn't bad luck to bring them but left the car seat at home, Bella out & Justin didn't eat before we left haha. Hoping it was real labor:P

Once we got to the hospital they checked me to see if I was dilated and they tested my fluids to see if it was my water leaking. Around 7:30 they said I was a really tight 2 by 8 the test came back that said it WAS my water! The nurse came and it said 'guess what your not leaving the hospital without having your baby, oh and your having contractions every 2 mins". That was interesting to know considering I had no clue haha, I knew I was having them but they still weren't that bad! The nurse then said she had to call my doctor & let him know, but she said she knew what he was going to say already which is that I had to have her. Once we were told that we were having her Justin went to grab some taco bell & call everyone. Apparently when he was on the phone he was so excited but once he got in line at taco bell it hit him, and he threw up haha. Then when he came back Vicki came to bring us a cell phone charger & to hang out for a bit...I suddenly had the gushing feeling and wasn't sure if I peed or it was my water again so I asked Vicki to look, and right when I said it Justin went & threw up in the bathroom lol. I started to freak out thinking there was no way we could do this just the two of us, since he was ALREADY throwing up and I BEGGED Vicki to figure out a way to stay and do this with me. We had the plan totally figured out -when suddenly we realized that she had the car...how would Mike get to work? We decided Justin could take her car home and they could come back...then she could take her our car and figure out the rest later...but Justin assured me that he would be fine, and we didn't need her to stay. He was right!

They started the pitocin around 9ish...and as soon as they started at bad boy up my contractions doubled. They weren't super strong & I could deff still handle the pain..BUTTTT suddenly I had to go pee so I called the nurse to ask if I could unhook myself or if Id need them to do it every time since I was in labor...she brought me a damn bed pan & told me that I wasn't allowed to get out of bed AT ALL. I was also sitting cross legged on the bed when she came in...and she explained that because of the way my water was leaking that they couldn't allow me to get out of bed at all...she said it could be really dangerous for the baby. That apparently they worry about the cord coming out before the baby with could be fatal?? Well that was enough to scare me straight, I deff was doing what the woman said & not moving! Meanwhile the contractions were getting stronger & stronger so I started talking about the epi...my nurse said it takes about 45 mins to get once you ask for it, and not to wait too long because you have to be able to sit still long enough to get it put in. I made the decision around 10:30 to get it considering the pain was only getting worse, and I wanted to move horribly. I knew I wasn't going to make it the whole labor without it so I decided why keep dealing with the pain! I was super scared to get it because I heard that once you get it they can counteract each other and make labor wayyy longer. I decided to take my chances after talking to the nurse who said thats not true, a lot of times it calms you don't & makes labor progress faster. Once I got it I felt like a million bucks...I wouldn't have even known I was in labor haha. I was only a 3 by that time! Vicki stayed and hung out till about 1am.....Justin had been passed out forever by this point. Around 3am I started to feel the pressure the nurse had told me about, so I thought it was time to push! She came in and checked me...I was notttt ready to push lol. The pain got worse and I woke Justin up to talk me through it, I started to cry a little bit...so when the nurse came back in to check me shortly I told her I was feeling pain & that I felt her checking me. They got the epi lady down in no time to give me more meds.....back to feeling amazing LOL. The next 2 hours she checked me pretty often....and I deff wasn't sleeping I was WAY To excited. At about 5am the nurse told me I was going to have her within the hour! So I woke Justin up, which btw was so hard to do lol. And then we just waited around till about 5:30ish when my doctor came! Once he got there they told me it was time to start pushing...Well let me tell you pushing is HARD and I was clearly doing it wrong! I pushed wrong for about 15 mins, and I was getting SO mad I wanted to cry I just didn't understand how she wasn't coming out...the nurses were trying everything to get me to push with my butt...and I guess I wasn't lol. The doctor decided to help me out, and he grabbed the vacuum. Within seconds she was out, and its was obviously pretty easy considering it didn't even leave a mark at all her on head...lol. 5:58 am the most beautiful little girl came into this world!<3 Once they took her out the put her on my chest & Justin came over to cut the cord. Oh btw the whole time I was pushing I had two nurses up by my head & my doctor obviously delivering her.....Justin was peaking over the nurses shoulder/hiding in the corner hahaha. I tore pretty badly and started bleeding really bad..he was down there for what seemed like ever. They had to give me some medicine in my IV to stop the bleeding. After they he was done with me I got to hold Alyssa again & feed her. They said we would have her in our room for about an hour after delivery but it was closer to two hours...I suppose because it took so long for him to fix me up after. She latched pretty well the first time and started sucking....amazing!!!!<3 After our time was up they took her in the nursery to weight her & check her out! Justin went with and came back a little bit later.

Once my EPI wore off the fun really started.. super embarrassing but I couldn't control my bladder like at all. So I peed the bed..a few mins later..I farted..and shit. all over. I deff cried Im not going to lie LOL. One of the side effects from the drug they had to give to stop the bleeding is diarrhea, they had already giving me meds so I wouldn't crap....buttt it didn't work fast enough. So I cleaned myself off and cried haha. Oh and I was soo freaking thirsty after having her I had Justin get me probably 10 water bottles full of water & ice..no lie. I sucked it all down so quickly & I just couldn't stop. I stopped after I threw up though haha, then I was STARVING....this was after the peeing/shitting...and they brought me breakfast, sadly it looked like dog shit so I wasn't going to eat it haha. So I remembered I had a few cookies in my purse lol, I ate one and threw up again. I decided it was best nottt to eat for a few hours. They gave me some zofran which helped almost instantly. I have been in serious pain every since I had her, guess thats what I get for feeling nothing durning labor haha. I did rip inside & out though, and got the worse hemorrhoids ever...which makes me wonder HOW in the world they can say I wasn't pushing with my butt haha.

About 4 hours later they brought Alyssa back to us, which I have to say at first when I heard they were taking her for 4 hours (while I was pregnant) I was sad about it....but after all I had to deal with right after having her it was probably best she wasn't, I was also able to have a much needed nap! The rest of the day was great, I had people in and out & visitors seeing her:) Night time was superrrr fun- not! haha. She showed us right away how fun she could be, this little girl would nottt sleep! Anytime we would lay her down she would cry...Justin & I were like ohh jeeze haha. The nurse came in the middle of the night to check on her and she helped me BF, which was wonderful. I did see the BF consultant but I needed more help at night. We were seriously considering sending her to the nursery so we could sleep, everyone told me USE IT because you don't get to take it home with you. We talked to the nurse & decided against it though. We didn't wanna give her away for even a moment, no matter how tired we were! At about 6am the nurse came in and told us they had to take Alyssa for some testing again. So we got some sleep! Im not sure what time it was but Dr Zarate came in to see how I was doing, I couldn't even tell you what we talked about I was half asleep haha. and then shortly after Alyssas doctor came in. This time I woke right up. He told us how Alyssa might have an infection because my water started leaking and she didn't come out for 16 hours after that. He said they may send her to the NICU to get antibiotics and she could possibly leave the next day, but he didn't know for sure.

 Later we found out she really did have to go to the NICU so we went down to see her. We found out that I was able to go home that night or stay...well we were having dog issues and honestly I just wanted to sleep in my own bed & get a bath. So we ended up going home, we decided to just make the drive to go see her, instead of walking down the hall. Im not sure when exactly it was but we found out that the shortest stay in the NICU is 3 days...never any less. I was so heartbroken and I bawled my eyes out several times. When we leave the hospital and they wheeled me out and I had no baby in my stomach, and no baby coming home with us it felt awful. I just kept reminding myself that she was going to be OK and thats all that matters. The next couple days were AWFUL hard...but strangely enough EVERY TIME we left the hospital we were both in an amazing mood. We LOVED going up there for touch times. Touch times are every 3 hours...what that means is parents can come in on those times and take the babies temp, change diaper, feed & then baby has to go back to sleep. Babies grow when they are sleeping I guess, so lots of sleep in the NICU. Since Alyssa wasn't really sick we were allowed to stay a while after we fed her, we were usually there a total of an hour and then we left so she could get her rest. Every time we left her there my heart broke in half..but at the same time I just had an amazing visit with her so I was always so happy. On Thursday we were told she would get to go home on Saturday, she just had to pass a few tests. The car seat test, feeding test & bloodwork of course. I was beyond nervous for the feeding test because every time when we went in there they gave her like 5 mins to latch onto the boob (she never did) and then they made us feed her a bottle..our nurse that we had most of the time was a huge stickler for the rules......another rule is that they can't eat over 30 mins because if they do they are just burning calories trying to eat. So we would always get to try to feed her for 15 mins....and she would sleep and not eat for us at all....and the nurse would take her away. So when we found out about the feeding test, I bawled. I begged Justin to do it because I couldn't handle failing! The next day we went in for our 3 feedings (which had to be 3 touch times in a row), and Justin started the feeding...another nurse came over & asked who was going to be home with her the most..and because he works that would be me....so they made me do the feeding. I started bawling right then and there...Justin was such great support and he talked me through it. Let me just say -bottle feeding is NOT for me. I did make it through all of the 3 feedings!!! because thankfully the two nurses we had that day were really laid back & left us alone for the feeding. Honestly being in there trying to hold her, feed her, change her diaper..its just so nerve wracking first of all theres wires all over her...and your surrounded by nurses who deal with tiny babies every day..makes you feel like you suck with your own child lol. So anyways she ended up passing all of her tests & she came home Saturday the 24th!<3 I set my alarm for 8:30am so I could shower & get ready..they told me to start calling around 9:30 and I was counting down the mins! Buttt then the nurse called & told us we could come right then! I got so excited I woke Justin up & I was rushing him like no other!! Before they discharged us we went through a huge list of things about taking care of a baby, it was pretty informative and Im glad they did it!

Since being home everything has been amazing! My milk ended up coming in on that Friday, so bringing her home Saturday worked perfect. Saturday I had the worse time getting her to latch, but then Vicki came over & helped....and we got it down! Ever since then we have had no BF issues.. I still worry that she's not getting enough, but based on her diapers she is just fine. I am anxious to see her weight on weds, an I am praying she's back up to where she needs to be. Justin has been beyond amazing with her, he even changes poopy diapers...:P I have deff fallen more in love with him whenever I watch them together. He goes back to work on Monday and Im going to be so sad:(

Well this was one long ass blog and I am now really tired haha.

38 weeks2days...and counting:P

Life has been pretty interesting lately. I am now 38 weeks<3 It feels so amazing to say that Ive come this far! I have officially hit the 'Im over being pregnant I want her out asap stage'. Mostly because I have waited this long and now I know its safe for her to come out so Im beyond ready to meet her. But also because pregnancy is painful LOL. I get to excited whenever contractions start, and then super upset when they stop! I have been pretty lazy lately, trying to keep the house clean though so that when she arrives everything is still perfect! I haven't really felt like leaving the house much, and then when I do leave the house I tend to regret it later haha. I can't believe how soon Ill be holding my daughter...Gosh it seems to unreal...still.  A LOT of people have been telling me they really feel like she's coming this week sometime, I REALLY hope they are right:) I was checked last week and I was dilated to a 1, so thats something...even if its something tiny & tons of people walk around like that for weeks...it was a small step to be excited about! Justin is beyond nervous to be a dad, but sometimes he says the most adorable things & they just melt my heart. Anyone who knows Justin knows he tends to be a pain in the butt sometimes, butt I have to say lately he's been doing things I never thought he would. Like anytime we go anywhere he always offers to drop me off right at the door & pick me up at the door so I don't have to walk as far. He's been really understanding about how much pain I am in...Im really thankful! Although I couldn't get him to go to the commissary today, I suppose I didn't ask him to go without me...so maybe he would have. But I asked him to go with me to help get the heavy things and he did try to get out of it.. but in the end he went..and he dropped me off, picked me up, loaded & unloaded the car by himself....deff something to be thankful for lol. 

Other then Alyssa stuff not much else has been going on! I did lose a friend today, and at first I was upset about it, but then she started lying about things I had said...so now I am thankful that I got the negativity out of my life before Alyssa arrives. I don't need negative people in my life, and I sure don't need liars. It sucks when you try so hard to help someone and make them happy & nothingggg works. But there comes a point in your life when you need to realize that everything happens for a reason, you gave it your all...and no matter what some people just won't be happy! 

I don't know if I blogged about this or not...butt my mom is going to be here APRIL 10th! I can't even wait! I am so extremely thankful that she is able to come out and meet Alyssa!<3 Its very sad that in the army life family can't just come up to the hospital after you have your baby, or be there durning labor....but for them to be able to come at all is certainly a blessing! She will be staying until April 24th! So I am PRAYING that I have Alyssa by the 10th and that we are out of the hospital! I just don't want my moms time here wasted sitting in the hospital, how boring lol. I am going to talk to my doctor anyways because Id REALLLY love it if miss Alyssa was out and home by Easter. I really want to get her pictures taken with the Easter bunny lol. 

Im a tad bit sad that Justin will be leaving for the field on April 23rd, and my then my mom leaves the next day..butt I have wonderful friends who will keep me busy Im sure;) Im so lucky that Justin isn't deploying anytime soon, so thank God for that! Its crazy though he will be gone till June...and only home 3 weekends. Alyssa is going to change so much just in those couple weeks, Im sad he will have to miss it. But I will take tons of pictures for him (and everyone on Facebook of course). He will also miss my first *AMAZING* mothers day, but I am totally OK with that just because for the first time in years I will be loving mothers day, and holding my precious daughter in my arms! Ahh I can't wait! Plus Vicki & I are already making plans to do something together since our husbands won't be home. Sometimes the army is really crappy, but you have to make the best out of every situation & remember it could be worse! At least he's going to be home for the birth, and he's leaving for a matter of weeks (home some weekends even!) and not deployed for a year! 

Right now we are in the middle of a horrible sand storm,..ooooh el paso! Its really bad though, my friend said they even cancelled flights! You can't even seen right in front of you..and if you go outside its so nasty sand gets everywhere! Justin and I had to make a trip to the commissary, and since we were lazy & fell asleep for hours we had to go out when it was pretty bad..its only down the road so not too bad but yuckyy lol. El paso windy seasons are verrry nasty! Hopefully not too much longer and this grossness will be gone:)) 

Well thats all for now<3

37 weeks, say what? && Karma!

Look out world tomorrow Alyssa will be FULL TERM -37 weeks! What an amazing accomplishment. I can honestly say there have been so many times in this pregnancy ((and before this one)) that I never thought those words would come out to of my month. I am 36 weeks 6 days pregnant, big belly, pretty much ANY symptom you can think of Ive fought with, her room is set up, the house is ready, Ive had two amazing baby showers.......and now, it finally seems like I am going to get to be a real mom. I can't wait to hold her in my arms...it has been 5 years 7 months since my first miscarriage, and Ive wanted a baby more then anything in the world ever sense...so for this to finally seem real..its the best feeling in the entire world for me right now. I know I only have 3 weeks left, but to those people who don't understand why 3 weeks feels like an eternity -put yourself in my shoes. I have been waiting over  years for this...

The last couple weeks have seemed to DRAGGG on I must say haha. Some people are bugging me to hurry up and start doing everything to try to have her, while others are saying noo wait the longer the better. I personally feel like once 38 weeks hits Im doing everything to try to go into labor. But for now Im just kind of doing whatever..she will come when she's ready anyways! I have been having lots of contractions and the past few days Ive been having stronger ones..but only a few a day so deff not any where near labor! I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, Im wondering what he will do and if he will check me. Im kind of sort of suppose to be on bed rest, but its not real bed rest its just take it easy bed rest. I still go out but Im sitting the entire time Im out so really whats the point of staying home!

Some of you will be very happy to know that karma has gotten me...again. First Ill explain something though..It seems like every time I judge someone or get annoyed or whatever karma comes at me in full force, BUT I am different than I was when I was younger -and different then most people. When it happens I fully realize its karma, or God teaching me a lesson and I take it just like that! Helps for me to not be so miserable;) Also helps make me a better person! Now mind you, I STILL hate when people complain about their pregnancy on Facebook because seriously so many people would die to have what you have so shut up and be thankful! BUTTT I used to always say 'gosh people are so annoying Im sure its painful but shut up about it an be thankful'. WELLLLLL folks my pregnancy IS painful, like really painful..! haha And yes I want to meet Alyssa but I also want her out because she's hurting her poor momma! BUTTT I am still thankful, and whenever I feel like Im dying I just think about all of those people who would kill to have this...and how I could not be pregnant at all, or could have lost her...and it cheers me right up! BUTT I will be honest, I can see how someone who never went through an loss or isn't close to someone who has, or who can't get pregnant wouldn't think about that. They would just simply be thinking Im dying here wtf..and complain. Soo I even though I still find it really annoying, I can be a LITTLE more open to the idea...I still think people should be thankful though lol.

As for Bella -Im proud to say that my ghetto fence with bricks, sand bags & rocks lined up IS WORKING!!!!:D When we first put it all together I would catch them trying to get out and say no...but now I think they have finally figured out they aren't getting out haha. I also noticed since I have been paying much more attn to her that I don't think she actually liked being outside all the day every day. I assumed she did because she always looked so happy out there, but now I am noticing she will come to the gate & just stand there. So I decided when she goes to the gate that means she wants to come in, and I bring her in..if she wants to go back out a little bit later she will cry & let me know. But for the most part she plays out there an hour or two and is ready to come back inside. I still don't leave her outside when Im not home, and I don't think I ever will. I was going to yesterday while I ran Vicki home, but as I was pulling out Justin pulled up THANK GOD! lol. She now has free roam of the house while we are gone, I just make sure everything is picked up & move the trash can into the bathroom. The trash is really the only thing I am worried about because she tries to get into that while Im home sometimes. We can leave pretty much anything on the floor & she won't chew it. Sometimes she does go into Alyssas room and steal her little toys though lol. I just take them away and say no..I think its because they are on her level (the ones in the bathtub that I have no clue what to do with till I get a cubby haha) so she thinks they are hers, she's only done that a few times though:)

Justin & I are doing amazing, we are just getting ready to be parents -woah. He is terrified, I always ask if he's getting excited and he ALWAYS says he's terrified first haha. I know he will be great, he's just gotta calm down lol. He's been super sweet lately and helping a lot. The other day he offered to rub my feet, it felt amazing lol. We got our car detail cleaned earlier this week, because it was nasty & everyone at work told him he couldn't put a baby in that thing haha. one SGT told him it seems like a farm! hahahaha. As for work Justin graduated WLC -SO proud of him!!<3 He won't be making SGT April 1st like we hoped, points went too high! But I am still proud of him regardless..they are talking about making him a CPL..anyone who knows army talk knows that means he gets to go SGTS work with SPC pay...nice. No one wants that rank, but I take it like this --yes its not extra money but its another rank & its something to be proud of! Even if he will get the shitty jobs:P Hopefully points will lower next month and he will make Sgt so he won't be CPL long, if at all:P Gosh I am so proud off him!!!!<3<3<3

All in all everything is going great, just praying that things stay this way! You never know with life!