I have been wanting to write this blog for quite some time now...but Ive been pretty busy. Alyssa is sleeping now so its the prefect time.
I want to explain somethings.
After having Alyssa I found a ton of awesome parenting groups/pages on Facebook. A lot of them are breast-feeding support. Its wonderful to have online support because SO many people are against BFing in public or just in general. And there are lots of questions about BFing -is she getting enough, whats wrong with her latch, why isn't she eating, are their enough diapers, can I take this med and so on and so forth. BFing can be really hard, esp with people commenting 'I could never do that, so your baby poops like 6 times a day ew, shes always attached why don't u just bottle-feed, she eats to much'...so I found support online. The more I read about BFing the more proud I became of me doing it. When I first wanted to BF it was because my mom said its better for the babies and she loved the bounding time. She always said she didn't know if you could bound with your baby without BFing because she never didn't BF lol...then she saw Justin with Alyssa...and she realized YOU CAN bound the same. She said it was so amazing for her to watch, she loved it<3 Well, the more I read the more passionate I get about the subject, and the more I want to educate people because it IS hard and so many people give up after a short short amount of time because they just don't have the support or the right information. So many times I hear that someone didn't BF because their family didn't so they didn't know where to start. Or they didn't know its healthier. So THAT is why I post things...plus I want people to see how amazing it is because it IS hard at the beginning -sometimes REALLY hard. Thats not to say that I think a mom who choses formula is any less of a mother then someone who BFs, because I don't. I used to say that I thought it was horrible when a mother doesn't even attempt to BF...and that still makes me kind of sad ---BUT then I realized that some people don't have a mom who told them how amazing it was. Would I have chose to BF if my mom if wasn't for my mom -Ill never know. So how would they know if someone didn't educate them. So THAT is why I post things...I am not saying 'oh I am better then you'. I don't think I am a better mom then anyone.
With all these BFing, natural parenting pages came a BIG topic that I wasn't ready for: circumcision. As I was reading all the comments about it, I just skipped over those statuses because 1) I had a girl. and 2) I didn't see the problem with it. Well the more I went on these pages the more I realized people are SO against routine infant circ...and I wanted to know why. So I decided to do some research. What I found shocked me. Im not going to go into a big long note of why you shouldn't do it. Ill just say Id LIKE you to research it before you do it, and watch a video. JUST because its always best to make informed decision. With that being said: I would never judge someone who circ there son.. you are doing what you think is best for your family. As I am doing what I think is best for mine. I wouldn't say that makes me better then you by any means. I am just not like that. BUT I do feel like I need to post things on Facebook because how can people learn if no one is teaching them? I have already had a few people message me and thank me for posting because they had no clue. I can't just let go of that...I can't. Same with BFing I have had people say I saw your Facebook posts and it made me want to BF....thats amazing. I am just pretty thankful for those groups because if it wasn't for them we would have circ our son without giving it a second thought =/
Abortion is another big one -I am posting because its something I feel super strong about. If I can change at least ONE persons mind its worth it.
And last but not least carseat safety is a huge one. If you don't chose to extended rear-face thats FINE. But I am not going to stop posting things about it...heres why. When I was pregnant the subject got brought up and Vicki explained how it was safer. I thought she was nuts...because honestly it didn't make sense to me. How was it safer? We were in the car with another friend and she agreed with me. Vicki was trying to explain (and getting pretty heated haha) and we weren't listening. This was before I had seen articles ALL over Facebook explaining how much safer it is. Over the next few weeks Vicki made it her mission to change my mind...one night we were at my house and shes like well you really listen to me and watch this video. She changed my mind....and I seriously thank her because if it wasn't for her I would have turned Alyssa and 1...and its just not as safe.
So, in conclusion -I am not posting these things to make you feel like an asshole for doing them. Or to say I am better then you, or saying I am judging you for your choices. I am posting because I feel strongly about the topics, and I want to inform others. If you don't agree thats fine, I still love you. Theres tons of things other people post on Facebook that I read and think what an idiot, buttt guess what everyone is different...and theres going to be plenty of times we read each others stuff and think, shes an idiot. Doesn't mean we can't still be idiots together haha. Its kind of like pay it forward, I learn something I want to pass the info on. Doesn't mean I am judging you for choosing something different. I have tons of friends who are against epi, induction, any meds durning labor really, c-section...they post things about it ALL the time. I had an epi & I was induced (water leaked) do I get offended...maybe for a quick second but then I realize they are just trying to inform people of the info that THEY learned. Its not a personal attack on me haha. Oh and FYI Alyssa is 2 months old and I already find things I did wrong...I didn't know. Ill do better with the next baby, its a lesson learned.
Sooooo remember -I am not judging you. And I am no where near the perfect mom -although I am so close its scary -LMAO jk!;)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Attachment parenting!
Attachment parenting. It seems to be the topic of discussion lately. I can honestly say I didn't know anything about it before Alyssa was born, and I am kind of glad..heres why..
When I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed...it was something I KNEW if I couldn't do, I would try EVERYTHING and if I couldn't...Id be highly depressed. When I found out they gave Alyssa formula in because her sugar was dropping dramatically, my heart sank. I wanted to cry right then and there...everything I read says NO BOTTLES NO PACIS AND NOO FORMULA. She was just a few hours old and they already broke the rules. I was crushed. When they brought her back to me and she took to the boob I felt much better...I had quite a bit of trouble in the hospital but the staff was amazing support (it was me not her having issues lol). That night Alyssa did A LOT of crying, any time we put her down... I wanted her to sleep with me in my bed but Justin said no way. I would fall asleep with her in my arms & he would wake me up and say no put her down. He even offered to stay away & hold her so I could get some sleep....but he was DEAD set against her sleeping with me. He was way to worried. But MY natural instincts wanted my baby in my bed with me. The next day when they took my baby to the NICU I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces...with every bottle of formula they gave her I wanted to die...I tired to nurse her but it just wasn't working all I wanted she wanted was to sleep in my arms, it broke my heart.
Fast forward to when we brought her home...she was in my arms A LOT I spent a lot of time TRYING to get her to nurse, working on the latch, trying to keep her awake. Anytime only of us wasn't holding it just just didn't feel right to me...but I kept hearing over and over again that you don't want to spoil her so hold her for a few weeks and then put her down a lot...you'll regret if you don't. So my mindset was AS much as I wanted to hold her, I must not allow her to become spoiled. I started to notice that even when she was just sleeping I didn't want to put her down. Again it was those natural instincts kicking in.
A couple days before she turned 2 weeks old we had big problems....she was cluster feeding. But not only was she cluster feeding she would fall asleep on the boob, Id lay her down & less then 30 mins later she woke up screaming...at the time I didn't think anything of it..I just thought she was super hungry (and Im sure growth spurt had a lot to do with it) Well I spent 3 nights in the row on the couch (two of them crying) because my baby wouldn't let me sleep...she would fall asleep and Id let her fall into a deep sleep but as soon as she was out of my arms she was awake. It was REALLY hard. On the 4th night I couldn't take it anymore I told Justin she was sleeping in the bed with us, he was SO against it...begged me not to roll over on her...it was a nightmare. I didn't know what to do. But I followed my gut which said put that baby in your bed. That night we slept great--and almost every night since! I got a lot of shit about how I would kill her, and how Ill never get her out of my bed....but Justin and I agreed we didn't care how long she was in our bed, we would deal with that later. I did a lot of research about co-sleeping and how to do it safely. I got the toddler guard rail, the snuza..and I felt great. (Btw Justin said she could start sleeping with us when she's 1 bc then its not to likely for us to kill her, so he clearly doesn't care about her sleeping with us haha). Since then everything has been perfect, theres always the fear that I will roll over and I don't want to say I won't because Im not going to jinx myself...but we both sleep amazing and are much happier...she LOVES to be by momma what can I say:)
So remember when I said that Im glad I didn't know about attachment parenting before she came? Well the reason why is because then I might have wondered if MAYBE just MAYBE the research and talking to other moms put an influence in my head....but since I did everything before I even know all about it, I can honestly say I just followed my mothering instincts. and for THAT I am thankful! I already had the ergo carrier long before I learned about baby wearing, and I knew I would use it...I just didn't know so many people did wear their babies:) I was told A LOT that you shouldn't pick your kids up for every little cry, but I have since learned that I can't just let her cry. In the car she does, and its horrible. I hate it. Besides, soon enough she's not going to want to be cuddled or loved on so I need to enjoy it while I can. I used to think Id want to kill myself if my child didn't let me put her down..but now I have realized I WANT to hold her. Of course I do want her to play on her play mat, sit in her swing & use her bouncy seat but she does all those things. While Im cooking dinner she comes in the kitchen with me and sits in her bath seat..when I shower she sits in her bouncy seat...where ever I go I bring my little love bug with me! Its perfect!
You may think I am crazy, and thats ok!:) You do whats best for your family, and Ill do whats best for us! In the end following your instincts is it what is best!:)
When I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed...it was something I KNEW if I couldn't do, I would try EVERYTHING and if I couldn't...Id be highly depressed. When I found out they gave Alyssa formula in because her sugar was dropping dramatically, my heart sank. I wanted to cry right then and there...everything I read says NO BOTTLES NO PACIS AND NOO FORMULA. She was just a few hours old and they already broke the rules. I was crushed. When they brought her back to me and she took to the boob I felt much better...I had quite a bit of trouble in the hospital but the staff was amazing support (it was me not her having issues lol). That night Alyssa did A LOT of crying, any time we put her down... I wanted her to sleep with me in my bed but Justin said no way. I would fall asleep with her in my arms & he would wake me up and say no put her down. He even offered to stay away & hold her so I could get some sleep....but he was DEAD set against her sleeping with me. He was way to worried. But MY natural instincts wanted my baby in my bed with me. The next day when they took my baby to the NICU I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces...with every bottle of formula they gave her I wanted to die...I tired to nurse her but it just wasn't working all I wanted she wanted was to sleep in my arms, it broke my heart.
Fast forward to when we brought her home...she was in my arms A LOT I spent a lot of time TRYING to get her to nurse, working on the latch, trying to keep her awake. Anytime only of us wasn't holding it just just didn't feel right to me...but I kept hearing over and over again that you don't want to spoil her so hold her for a few weeks and then put her down a lot...you'll regret if you don't. So my mindset was AS much as I wanted to hold her, I must not allow her to become spoiled. I started to notice that even when she was just sleeping I didn't want to put her down. Again it was those natural instincts kicking in.
A couple days before she turned 2 weeks old we had big problems....she was cluster feeding. But not only was she cluster feeding she would fall asleep on the boob, Id lay her down & less then 30 mins later she woke up screaming...at the time I didn't think anything of it..I just thought she was super hungry (and Im sure growth spurt had a lot to do with it) Well I spent 3 nights in the row on the couch (two of them crying) because my baby wouldn't let me sleep...she would fall asleep and Id let her fall into a deep sleep but as soon as she was out of my arms she was awake. It was REALLY hard. On the 4th night I couldn't take it anymore I told Justin she was sleeping in the bed with us, he was SO against it...begged me not to roll over on her...it was a nightmare. I didn't know what to do. But I followed my gut which said put that baby in your bed. That night we slept great--and almost every night since! I got a lot of shit about how I would kill her, and how Ill never get her out of my bed....but Justin and I agreed we didn't care how long she was in our bed, we would deal with that later. I did a lot of research about co-sleeping and how to do it safely. I got the toddler guard rail, the snuza..and I felt great. (Btw Justin said she could start sleeping with us when she's 1 bc then its not to likely for us to kill her, so he clearly doesn't care about her sleeping with us haha). Since then everything has been perfect, theres always the fear that I will roll over and I don't want to say I won't because Im not going to jinx myself...but we both sleep amazing and are much happier...she LOVES to be by momma what can I say:)
So remember when I said that Im glad I didn't know about attachment parenting before she came? Well the reason why is because then I might have wondered if MAYBE just MAYBE the research and talking to other moms put an influence in my head....but since I did everything before I even know all about it, I can honestly say I just followed my mothering instincts. and for THAT I am thankful! I already had the ergo carrier long before I learned about baby wearing, and I knew I would use it...I just didn't know so many people did wear their babies:) I was told A LOT that you shouldn't pick your kids up for every little cry, but I have since learned that I can't just let her cry. In the car she does, and its horrible. I hate it. Besides, soon enough she's not going to want to be cuddled or loved on so I need to enjoy it while I can. I used to think Id want to kill myself if my child didn't let me put her down..but now I have realized I WANT to hold her. Of course I do want her to play on her play mat, sit in her swing & use her bouncy seat but she does all those things. While Im cooking dinner she comes in the kitchen with me and sits in her bath seat..when I shower she sits in her bouncy seat...where ever I go I bring my little love bug with me! Its perfect!
You may think I am crazy, and thats ok!:) You do whats best for your family, and Ill do whats best for us! In the end following your instincts is it what is best!:)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
SNUZA REVIEW -I give it 110%
So you might call me crazy for ordering a snuza, but it is hands down the BEST thing I have bought for Alyssa. If I had to pick between ANYTHING else and this I would chose this. First off I want to say Im not being paid or anything to do this, I just really love the product and think that EVERY mother with an infant should own one.
What is a snuza? its a monitor that tracks her breathing. Its TINY and it clips to her diaper... (( http://www.amazon.com/Snuza-Halo-Baby-Movement-Monitor/dp/B002ITOC7S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336920579&sr=8-1 )) I paid $113 for it, looks like the price went back up to $118 but I am sure it will go down again.
I decided to buy it because we do co-sleep and I wanted to make co sleeping as safe as possible (I also got a toddler guard rail for our bed). I read the reviews and A TON of people were saying they wished they knew about this device before they lost their first child to SIDS. I decided right then and there I really didn't want to be on that review board saying that so I decided it was worth the 100 bucks. Hands down the best purchase for Alyssa. It has went off a few times because it goes off if its not fully against them and sometimes I forget to make her diaper extra tight, or if her diaper gets too full, which that in itself is really nice because then I know when to change her diaper (haha seriously though that only happend once, which is weird because her diaper has NEVER gotten that full before..she peed a lot that night lol). But its not a big deal..and as least I know its working.
How it works: it vibrates after 15 seconds if it doesn't detect breathing...then it gives the baby 5 seconds to start breathing so after a total of 20 seconds it will alarm so you can check the baby. The alarm is pretty loud I think, but if your baby does sleep in another room you might want to buy montiors (if you don't already have them) just so that you make the chances of hearing it better..but I have been acrossed the house and still hear the thing go off.
Some of the people said it actually saved their babies life...they ran when the alarm went off and their baby really wasn't breathing..then they called the babies name a few times and the baby didn't wake up so I grabbed the baby and THAT finally woke the baby up. What would have happened if that alarm didn't tell them, would the baby have woken back up by himself, we will never know...but I wouldn't want to find out.
Many people think I am crazy but SIDS can happen to ANY child at ANY TIME. It doesn't matter if you take EVERY precaution. I got it not only for SIDS but for suffocation because with her in our bed I didn't want to play what-ifs. You may think you don't need this device, and you might be right, but who wants to find out? $100-$120 to possibly save your childs life? I don't know about you, but I personally feel like you can't put a price tag on your childs life. AND you might think oh I already have a child, two or maybe even 3 but SIDS doesn't happen to your first or second child. SIDS can happen to ANY child at ANY time. Not just SIDs but suffocation!
The manual does say that can't guarentee that the snuza will alarm if the baby stops breathing in the car, because the movement of driving could make it not alarm, but Alyssa's has went off in the car (bad mom I didn't clip it all the way, but I am kind of glad because I always wondered if it would alarm in the car lol).
Oh and if your worried the alarm will wake up your sleeping baby (if its false) Im here to tell you Alyssa sleeps right through it haha. Idk if thats every child but the vibration the alarm, shes still sleeping lol. Which knowning that it made me realize when the alarm goes off I need to RUN because if shes really not breathing she won't wake up and its imporant that I wake her up. Oh BTW I guess I should add that babies stop breathing in their sleep all the time, most of the time they wake up....other times they just dont. No one knows why -thats why we have SIDS.
I also forgot to add that it detects if they are having irregular breathing. And Alyssa did one night. You know by the way the lights flash. One night apperently Alyssa was having some irregular breathing, but it hasn't happened again. Its nice to know so I can keep an eye on it. It also nofifys you if they stopped breathing and then the vibartion woke up them up. Its pretty amazing. Over all -I give this product 110%! The false alarms just show me that this device DOES work!
I have a picture on my fb of how tiny it is. They wear it under their clothes, no one even knows its there and really if you want you don't even have to use it durning the day -although I do. $100 and peice of mind, and possibly save your babies life -what are you waiting for?!
Welcome to mommy hood!
I haven't really had much time to post since Alyssa made her arrival...so Im going to attempt to blog while she's sleeping:)
Where to start...well first my mom came to visit for 2 weeks that was amazing & lots of fun. It was so awesome to watch her with Alyssa, I was really sad to see her go:( But I am so thankful she was able to come out & visit for the two weeks! Justin is going some fun field training, he left on the 23rd and he will be gone till June. He does get two weekends home, so that helps. He came home for the first weekend already and was shocked at how much bigger Alyssa got after just two weeks. This time he's gone for 3, so Im excited to see how much bigger he says she is this time. Right now my sister is visiting, she also is staying for two weeks so thats awesome. She's been a ton of help and I really appreciate it:) I really wish I could move my family out here...:P
Ever since having Alyssa I miss home more, well not home...but the people. I wish we lived a little closer because so many people haven't got to meet our beautiful daughter yet -and won't until possibly Christmas. That breaks my heart! She's perfect and I want everyone to see that.
A lot of people keep asking about breastfeeding, its going amazing. It took some weeks actually FULLY love it...and now that she's 7 weeks (she'll be 2 months on the 20th so sad lol) its perfect and I really love it. She wakes up between 1-3 times a night to eat, just depending on what time we go to bed. She's SO alert now, and she actually hits some of her toys now..I love it. I don't know if its too young to tell but when she's in her bouncy seat she only ever uses her left hand to grab the toys...so we might have a lefty like mommy:) But again idk if its too early to tell? She does A LOT of eating, sleeping & pooping, haha. She HATES the car, and seriously I don't even like driving places because sometimes she screams so hard, its heartbreaking. She IS sleeping in our bed, and I have to say I love it so much. We both sleep so much better, and I am able to tend to her before she even starts crying. Its awesome. I always know when its time to wake her up to eat because she starts making crazy noises (I swear sometimes she sounds like a pig or a goat haha) and sucking on her hands...I usually rub her back for a few mins if she doesn't go back to sleep and keeps sucking on those hands I fully wake her up & feed her.
Alright, thats all for now<3
Where to start...well first my mom came to visit for 2 weeks that was amazing & lots of fun. It was so awesome to watch her with Alyssa, I was really sad to see her go:( But I am so thankful she was able to come out & visit for the two weeks! Justin is going some fun field training, he left on the 23rd and he will be gone till June. He does get two weekends home, so that helps. He came home for the first weekend already and was shocked at how much bigger Alyssa got after just two weeks. This time he's gone for 3, so Im excited to see how much bigger he says she is this time. Right now my sister is visiting, she also is staying for two weeks so thats awesome. She's been a ton of help and I really appreciate it:) I really wish I could move my family out here...:P
Ever since having Alyssa I miss home more, well not home...but the people. I wish we lived a little closer because so many people haven't got to meet our beautiful daughter yet -and won't until possibly Christmas. That breaks my heart! She's perfect and I want everyone to see that.
A lot of people keep asking about breastfeeding, its going amazing. It took some weeks actually FULLY love it...and now that she's 7 weeks (she'll be 2 months on the 20th so sad lol) its perfect and I really love it. She wakes up between 1-3 times a night to eat, just depending on what time we go to bed. She's SO alert now, and she actually hits some of her toys now..I love it. I don't know if its too young to tell but when she's in her bouncy seat she only ever uses her left hand to grab the toys...so we might have a lefty like mommy:) But again idk if its too early to tell? She does A LOT of eating, sleeping & pooping, haha. She HATES the car, and seriously I don't even like driving places because sometimes she screams so hard, its heartbreaking. She IS sleeping in our bed, and I have to say I love it so much. We both sleep so much better, and I am able to tend to her before she even starts crying. Its awesome. I always know when its time to wake her up to eat because she starts making crazy noises (I swear sometimes she sounds like a pig or a goat haha) and sucking on her hands...I usually rub her back for a few mins if she doesn't go back to sleep and keeps sucking on those hands I fully wake her up & feed her.
Alright, thats all for now<3
Happy Mothers Day to ALL...
This Mothers Day is so special to me because its the first Mothers day since 2005 that haven't felt empty..this is the first mothers day that I have gotten to hold my child in my arms instead of just my heart. Of course my angels are still in my heart today. Being a mom is the BEST gift I have ever received, and I am so blessed & thankful.
Happy Mothers day to the best mom in the entire world...I love you so much mom! I only hope I can be at least half the mother you are.Thank you so much for everything you have done for me!
I would also like to say Happy Mothers Day to all my amazing mommy friends..
Happy Mothers day to those with with beautiful children here on earth.
Happy Mothers day to those with angels in heaven.
Happy Mothers day to those who have children in their hearts instead of their arms (those who are struggling every day to get pregnant, I believe as hard as your working just to have children you deserve to be told happy mothers day and remember day day you will get your miracle and this will ALL be worth it).
A huge Happy Mothers Day AND thank you to those raising someone else's children as your own..you guys have a very special place in my heart.
& of course Happy mothers day to the mommy's of fur babies:)))
Happy Mothers day to the best mom in the entire world...I love you so much mom! I only hope I can be at least half the mother you are.Thank you so much for everything you have done for me!
I would also like to say Happy Mothers Day to all my amazing mommy friends..
Happy Mothers day to those with with beautiful children here on earth.
Happy Mothers day to those with angels in heaven.
Happy Mothers day to those who have children in their hearts instead of their arms (those who are struggling every day to get pregnant, I believe as hard as your working just to have children you deserve to be told happy mothers day and remember day day you will get your miracle and this will ALL be worth it).
A huge Happy Mothers Day AND thank you to those raising someone else's children as your own..you guys have a very special place in my heart.
& of course Happy mothers day to the mommy's of fur babies:)))
“Happy Mother's Day”
It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.
It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.
But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?
It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.
An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.
She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.
All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.
So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!
It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.
It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.
But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?
It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.
An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.
She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.
All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.
So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!
I thought of you and closed my eyes. And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say, A mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you? Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women babies. When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime and others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this. God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say, "We go to earth to learn our lessons of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, Oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me, I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy, Oh so much, but I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.'" So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are okay. Your babies are here in MY home and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with ME until your lesson is through. And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother— It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, until their time is done. They'll be up here with ME one day, and know you're the best one. ~Jennifer Wasik~
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Labor & Delivery story!
I am going to attempt to write my labor & delivery story!:)
On Monday the 19th I was sitting around hanging out with Vicki & Gen. I had been having contractions on and off for weeks so contractions that day weren't any different. Around 2 or 3 I guess it was I started to leak a little bit, it was like a gush but with not a ton of water..so I wasn't really sure what it was. I went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was a TINY bit of brown blood..so I assumed it was my mucus plug and decided to try to jump start labor by walking around. Oh I guess I should add that over the entire weekend I was pushing on my pressure points to see if it would work, on Monday Vicki showed me what a dumbass I am & how I was pushing the wrong spot haha. So I held on to them that day.. just to see what would happen;) So anyways Gen left & Vicki & I decided to go walking around the neighborhood. I was stopping every couple mins for contractions but wasn't timing them because the pain wasn't that strong so I figured there was no way it was real labor. We walked for what seemed like miles...really it was only a couple streets over...talk about out of shape LMAO. And then we decided to go back in. I gushed again a few & then realized I hadn't felt Alyssa move at all that day. So I got out the doppler that Joslyn so awesomely let me borrow for my entire pregnancy:)) And her heartbeat was only at 130...I got scared so I called L&D and let them know everything that had happened that day. They said everything was okay except for the leaking & I needed to come get checked out. This was at 5pm...so I called Justin & told him what was going on...we both agreed I wasn't in labor so he took his friend home LOL...meanwhile I was taking a bath seeing if the contractions would stop (because they had started up again) and when he got home we took a shower...I got to the hospital at 6:45...yeah we took our time haha. I was planning on putting our bags in the car that night anyway so I figured that wasn't bad luck to bring them but left the car seat at home, Bella out & Justin didn't eat before we left haha. Hoping it was real labor:P
Once we got to the hospital they checked me to see if I was dilated and they tested my fluids to see if it was my water leaking. Around 7:30 they said I was a really tight 2 by 8 the test came back that said it WAS my water! The nurse came and it said 'guess what your not leaving the hospital without having your baby, oh and your having contractions every 2 mins". That was interesting to know considering I had no clue haha, I knew I was having them but they still weren't that bad! The nurse then said she had to call my doctor & let him know, but she said she knew what he was going to say already which is that I had to have her. Once we were told that we were having her Justin went to grab some taco bell & call everyone. Apparently when he was on the phone he was so excited but once he got in line at taco bell it hit him, and he threw up haha. Then when he came back Vicki came to bring us a cell phone charger & to hang out for a bit...I suddenly had the gushing feeling and wasn't sure if I peed or it was my water again so I asked Vicki to look, and right when I said it Justin went & threw up in the bathroom lol. I started to freak out thinking there was no way we could do this just the two of us, since he was ALREADY throwing up and I BEGGED Vicki to figure out a way to stay and do this with me. We had the plan totally figured out -when suddenly we realized that she had the car...how would Mike get to work? We decided Justin could take her car home and they could come back...then she could take her our car and figure out the rest later...but Justin assured me that he would be fine, and we didn't need her to stay. He was right!
They started the pitocin around 9ish...and as soon as they started at bad boy up my contractions doubled. They weren't super strong & I could deff still handle the pain..BUTTTT suddenly I had to go pee so I called the nurse to ask if I could unhook myself or if Id need them to do it every time since I was in labor...she brought me a damn bed pan & told me that I wasn't allowed to get out of bed AT ALL. I was also sitting cross legged on the bed when she came in...and she explained that because of the way my water was leaking that they couldn't allow me to get out of bed at all...she said it could be really dangerous for the baby. That apparently they worry about the cord coming out before the baby with could be fatal?? Well that was enough to scare me straight, I deff was doing what the woman said & not moving! Meanwhile the contractions were getting stronger & stronger so I started talking about the epi...my nurse said it takes about 45 mins to get once you ask for it, and not to wait too long because you have to be able to sit still long enough to get it put in. I made the decision around 10:30 to get it considering the pain was only getting worse, and I wanted to move horribly. I knew I wasn't going to make it the whole labor without it so I decided why keep dealing with the pain! I was super scared to get it because I heard that once you get it they can counteract each other and make labor wayyy longer. I decided to take my chances after talking to the nurse who said thats not true, a lot of times it calms you don't & makes labor progress faster. Once I got it I felt like a million bucks...I wouldn't have even known I was in labor haha. I was only a 3 by that time! Vicki stayed and hung out till about 1am.....Justin had been passed out forever by this point. Around 3am I started to feel the pressure the nurse had told me about, so I thought it was time to push! She came in and checked me...I was notttt ready to push lol. The pain got worse and I woke Justin up to talk me through it, I started to cry a little bit...so when the nurse came back in to check me shortly I told her I was feeling pain & that I felt her checking me. They got the epi lady down in no time to give me more meds.....back to feeling amazing LOL. The next 2 hours she checked me pretty often....and I deff wasn't sleeping I was WAY To excited. At about 5am the nurse told me I was going to have her within the hour! So I woke Justin up, which btw was so hard to do lol. And then we just waited around till about 5:30ish when my doctor came! Once he got there they told me it was time to start pushing...Well let me tell you pushing is HARD and I was clearly doing it wrong! I pushed wrong for about 15 mins, and I was getting SO mad I wanted to cry I just didn't understand how she wasn't coming out...the nurses were trying everything to get me to push with my butt...and I guess I wasn't lol. The doctor decided to help me out, and he grabbed the vacuum. Within seconds she was out, and its was obviously pretty easy considering it didn't even leave a mark at all her on head...lol. 5:58 am the most beautiful little girl came into this world!<3 Once they took her out the put her on my chest & Justin came over to cut the cord. Oh btw the whole time I was pushing I had two nurses up by my head & my doctor obviously delivering her.....Justin was peaking over the nurses shoulder/hiding in the corner hahaha. I tore pretty badly and started bleeding really bad..he was down there for what seemed like ever. They had to give me some medicine in my IV to stop the bleeding. After they he was done with me I got to hold Alyssa again & feed her. They said we would have her in our room for about an hour after delivery but it was closer to two hours...I suppose because it took so long for him to fix me up after. She latched pretty well the first time and started sucking....amazing!!!!<3 After our time was up they took her in the nursery to weight her & check her out! Justin went with and came back a little bit later.
Once my EPI wore off the fun really started.. super embarrassing but I couldn't control my bladder like at all. So I peed the bed..a few mins later..I farted..and shit. all over. I deff cried Im not going to lie LOL. One of the side effects from the drug they had to give to stop the bleeding is diarrhea, they had already giving me meds so I wouldn't crap....buttt it didn't work fast enough. So I cleaned myself off and cried haha. Oh and I was soo freaking thirsty after having her I had Justin get me probably 10 water bottles full of water & ice..no lie. I sucked it all down so quickly & I just couldn't stop. I stopped after I threw up though haha, then I was STARVING....this was after the peeing/shitting...and they brought me breakfast, sadly it looked like dog shit so I wasn't going to eat it haha. So I remembered I had a few cookies in my purse lol, I ate one and threw up again. I decided it was best nottt to eat for a few hours. They gave me some zofran which helped almost instantly. I have been in serious pain every since I had her, guess thats what I get for feeling nothing durning labor haha. I did rip inside & out though, and got the worse hemorrhoids ever...which makes me wonder HOW in the world they can say I wasn't pushing with my butt haha.
About 4 hours later they brought Alyssa back to us, which I have to say at first when I heard they were taking her for 4 hours (while I was pregnant) I was sad about it....but after all I had to deal with right after having her it was probably best she wasn't, I was also able to have a much needed nap! The rest of the day was great, I had people in and out & visitors seeing her:) Night time was superrrr fun- not! haha. She showed us right away how fun she could be, this little girl would nottt sleep! Anytime we would lay her down she would cry...Justin & I were like ohh jeeze haha. The nurse came in the middle of the night to check on her and she helped me BF, which was wonderful. I did see the BF consultant but I needed more help at night. We were seriously considering sending her to the nursery so we could sleep, everyone told me USE IT because you don't get to take it home with you. We talked to the nurse & decided against it though. We didn't wanna give her away for even a moment, no matter how tired we were! At about 6am the nurse came in and told us they had to take Alyssa for some testing again. So we got some sleep! Im not sure what time it was but Dr Zarate came in to see how I was doing, I couldn't even tell you what we talked about I was half asleep haha. and then shortly after Alyssas doctor came in. This time I woke right up. He told us how Alyssa might have an infection because my water started leaking and she didn't come out for 16 hours after that. He said they may send her to the NICU to get antibiotics and she could possibly leave the next day, but he didn't know for sure.
Later we found out she really did have to go to the NICU so we went down to see her. We found out that I was able to go home that night or stay...well we were having dog issues and honestly I just wanted to sleep in my own bed & get a bath. So we ended up going home, we decided to just make the drive to go see her, instead of walking down the hall. Im not sure when exactly it was but we found out that the shortest stay in the NICU is 3 days...never any less. I was so heartbroken and I bawled my eyes out several times. When we leave the hospital and they wheeled me out and I had no baby in my stomach, and no baby coming home with us it felt awful. I just kept reminding myself that she was going to be OK and thats all that matters. The next couple days were AWFUL hard...but strangely enough EVERY TIME we left the hospital we were both in an amazing mood. We LOVED going up there for touch times. Touch times are every 3 hours...what that means is parents can come in on those times and take the babies temp, change diaper, feed & then baby has to go back to sleep. Babies grow when they are sleeping I guess, so lots of sleep in the NICU. Since Alyssa wasn't really sick we were allowed to stay a while after we fed her, we were usually there a total of an hour and then we left so she could get her rest. Every time we left her there my heart broke in half..but at the same time I just had an amazing visit with her so I was always so happy. On Thursday we were told she would get to go home on Saturday, she just had to pass a few tests. The car seat test, feeding test & bloodwork of course. I was beyond nervous for the feeding test because every time when we went in there they gave her like 5 mins to latch onto the boob (she never did) and then they made us feed her a bottle..our nurse that we had most of the time was a huge stickler for the rules......another rule is that they can't eat over 30 mins because if they do they are just burning calories trying to eat. So we would always get to try to feed her for 15 mins....and she would sleep and not eat for us at all....and the nurse would take her away. So when we found out about the feeding test, I bawled. I begged Justin to do it because I couldn't handle failing! The next day we went in for our 3 feedings (which had to be 3 touch times in a row), and Justin started the feeding...another nurse came over & asked who was going to be home with her the most..and because he works that would be me....so they made me do the feeding. I started bawling right then and there...Justin was such great support and he talked me through it. Let me just say -bottle feeding is NOT for me. I did make it through all of the 3 feedings!!! because thankfully the two nurses we had that day were really laid back & left us alone for the feeding. Honestly being in there trying to hold her, feed her, change her diaper..its just so nerve wracking first of all theres wires all over her...and your surrounded by nurses who deal with tiny babies every day..makes you feel like you suck with your own child lol. So anyways she ended up passing all of her tests & she came home Saturday the 24th!<3 I set my alarm for 8:30am so I could shower & get ready..they told me to start calling around 9:30 and I was counting down the mins! Buttt then the nurse called & told us we could come right then! I got so excited I woke Justin up & I was rushing him like no other!! Before they discharged us we went through a huge list of things about taking care of a baby, it was pretty informative and Im glad they did it!
Since being home everything has been amazing! My milk ended up coming in on that Friday, so bringing her home Saturday worked perfect. Saturday I had the worse time getting her to latch, but then Vicki came over & helped....and we got it down! Ever since then we have had no BF issues.. I still worry that she's not getting enough, but based on her diapers she is just fine. I am anxious to see her weight on weds, an I am praying she's back up to where she needs to be. Justin has been beyond amazing with her, he even changes poopy diapers...:P I have deff fallen more in love with him whenever I watch them together. He goes back to work on Monday and Im going to be so sad:(
Well this was one long ass blog and I am now really tired haha.
On Monday the 19th I was sitting around hanging out with Vicki & Gen. I had been having contractions on and off for weeks so contractions that day weren't any different. Around 2 or 3 I guess it was I started to leak a little bit, it was like a gush but with not a ton of water..so I wasn't really sure what it was. I went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was a TINY bit of brown blood..so I assumed it was my mucus plug and decided to try to jump start labor by walking around. Oh I guess I should add that over the entire weekend I was pushing on my pressure points to see if it would work, on Monday Vicki showed me what a dumbass I am & how I was pushing the wrong spot haha. So I held on to them that day.. just to see what would happen;) So anyways Gen left & Vicki & I decided to go walking around the neighborhood. I was stopping every couple mins for contractions but wasn't timing them because the pain wasn't that strong so I figured there was no way it was real labor. We walked for what seemed like miles...really it was only a couple streets over...talk about out of shape LMAO. And then we decided to go back in. I gushed again a few & then realized I hadn't felt Alyssa move at all that day. So I got out the doppler that Joslyn so awesomely let me borrow for my entire pregnancy:)) And her heartbeat was only at 130...I got scared so I called L&D and let them know everything that had happened that day. They said everything was okay except for the leaking & I needed to come get checked out. This was at 5pm...so I called Justin & told him what was going on...we both agreed I wasn't in labor so he took his friend home LOL...meanwhile I was taking a bath seeing if the contractions would stop (because they had started up again) and when he got home we took a shower...I got to the hospital at 6:45...yeah we took our time haha. I was planning on putting our bags in the car that night anyway so I figured that wasn't bad luck to bring them but left the car seat at home, Bella out & Justin didn't eat before we left haha. Hoping it was real labor:P
Once we got to the hospital they checked me to see if I was dilated and they tested my fluids to see if it was my water leaking. Around 7:30 they said I was a really tight 2 by 8 the test came back that said it WAS my water! The nurse came and it said 'guess what your not leaving the hospital without having your baby, oh and your having contractions every 2 mins". That was interesting to know considering I had no clue haha, I knew I was having them but they still weren't that bad! The nurse then said she had to call my doctor & let him know, but she said she knew what he was going to say already which is that I had to have her. Once we were told that we were having her Justin went to grab some taco bell & call everyone. Apparently when he was on the phone he was so excited but once he got in line at taco bell it hit him, and he threw up haha. Then when he came back Vicki came to bring us a cell phone charger & to hang out for a bit...I suddenly had the gushing feeling and wasn't sure if I peed or it was my water again so I asked Vicki to look, and right when I said it Justin went & threw up in the bathroom lol. I started to freak out thinking there was no way we could do this just the two of us, since he was ALREADY throwing up and I BEGGED Vicki to figure out a way to stay and do this with me. We had the plan totally figured out -when suddenly we realized that she had the car...how would Mike get to work? We decided Justin could take her car home and they could come back...then she could take her our car and figure out the rest later...but Justin assured me that he would be fine, and we didn't need her to stay. He was right!
They started the pitocin around 9ish...and as soon as they started at bad boy up my contractions doubled. They weren't super strong & I could deff still handle the pain..BUTTTT suddenly I had to go pee so I called the nurse to ask if I could unhook myself or if Id need them to do it every time since I was in labor...she brought me a damn bed pan & told me that I wasn't allowed to get out of bed AT ALL. I was also sitting cross legged on the bed when she came in...and she explained that because of the way my water was leaking that they couldn't allow me to get out of bed at all...she said it could be really dangerous for the baby. That apparently they worry about the cord coming out before the baby with could be fatal?? Well that was enough to scare me straight, I deff was doing what the woman said & not moving! Meanwhile the contractions were getting stronger & stronger so I started talking about the epi...my nurse said it takes about 45 mins to get once you ask for it, and not to wait too long because you have to be able to sit still long enough to get it put in. I made the decision around 10:30 to get it considering the pain was only getting worse, and I wanted to move horribly. I knew I wasn't going to make it the whole labor without it so I decided why keep dealing with the pain! I was super scared to get it because I heard that once you get it they can counteract each other and make labor wayyy longer. I decided to take my chances after talking to the nurse who said thats not true, a lot of times it calms you don't & makes labor progress faster. Once I got it I felt like a million bucks...I wouldn't have even known I was in labor haha. I was only a 3 by that time! Vicki stayed and hung out till about 1am.....Justin had been passed out forever by this point. Around 3am I started to feel the pressure the nurse had told me about, so I thought it was time to push! She came in and checked me...I was notttt ready to push lol. The pain got worse and I woke Justin up to talk me through it, I started to cry a little bit...so when the nurse came back in to check me shortly I told her I was feeling pain & that I felt her checking me. They got the epi lady down in no time to give me more meds.....back to feeling amazing LOL. The next 2 hours she checked me pretty often....and I deff wasn't sleeping I was WAY To excited. At about 5am the nurse told me I was going to have her within the hour! So I woke Justin up, which btw was so hard to do lol. And then we just waited around till about 5:30ish when my doctor came! Once he got there they told me it was time to start pushing...Well let me tell you pushing is HARD and I was clearly doing it wrong! I pushed wrong for about 15 mins, and I was getting SO mad I wanted to cry I just didn't understand how she wasn't coming out...the nurses were trying everything to get me to push with my butt...and I guess I wasn't lol. The doctor decided to help me out, and he grabbed the vacuum. Within seconds she was out, and its was obviously pretty easy considering it didn't even leave a mark at all her on head...lol. 5:58 am the most beautiful little girl came into this world!<3 Once they took her out the put her on my chest & Justin came over to cut the cord. Oh btw the whole time I was pushing I had two nurses up by my head & my doctor obviously delivering her.....Justin was peaking over the nurses shoulder/hiding in the corner hahaha. I tore pretty badly and started bleeding really bad..he was down there for what seemed like ever. They had to give me some medicine in my IV to stop the bleeding. After they he was done with me I got to hold Alyssa again & feed her. They said we would have her in our room for about an hour after delivery but it was closer to two hours...I suppose because it took so long for him to fix me up after. She latched pretty well the first time and started sucking....amazing!!!!<3 After our time was up they took her in the nursery to weight her & check her out! Justin went with and came back a little bit later.
Once my EPI wore off the fun really started.. super embarrassing but I couldn't control my bladder like at all. So I peed the bed..a few mins later..I farted..and shit. all over. I deff cried Im not going to lie LOL. One of the side effects from the drug they had to give to stop the bleeding is diarrhea, they had already giving me meds so I wouldn't crap....buttt it didn't work fast enough. So I cleaned myself off and cried haha. Oh and I was soo freaking thirsty after having her I had Justin get me probably 10 water bottles full of water & ice..no lie. I sucked it all down so quickly & I just couldn't stop. I stopped after I threw up though haha, then I was STARVING....this was after the peeing/shitting...and they brought me breakfast, sadly it looked like dog shit so I wasn't going to eat it haha. So I remembered I had a few cookies in my purse lol, I ate one and threw up again. I decided it was best nottt to eat for a few hours. They gave me some zofran which helped almost instantly. I have been in serious pain every since I had her, guess thats what I get for feeling nothing durning labor haha. I did rip inside & out though, and got the worse hemorrhoids ever...which makes me wonder HOW in the world they can say I wasn't pushing with my butt haha.
About 4 hours later they brought Alyssa back to us, which I have to say at first when I heard they were taking her for 4 hours (while I was pregnant) I was sad about it....but after all I had to deal with right after having her it was probably best she wasn't, I was also able to have a much needed nap! The rest of the day was great, I had people in and out & visitors seeing her:) Night time was superrrr fun- not! haha. She showed us right away how fun she could be, this little girl would nottt sleep! Anytime we would lay her down she would cry...Justin & I were like ohh jeeze haha. The nurse came in the middle of the night to check on her and she helped me BF, which was wonderful. I did see the BF consultant but I needed more help at night. We were seriously considering sending her to the nursery so we could sleep, everyone told me USE IT because you don't get to take it home with you. We talked to the nurse & decided against it though. We didn't wanna give her away for even a moment, no matter how tired we were! At about 6am the nurse came in and told us they had to take Alyssa for some testing again. So we got some sleep! Im not sure what time it was but Dr Zarate came in to see how I was doing, I couldn't even tell you what we talked about I was half asleep haha. and then shortly after Alyssas doctor came in. This time I woke right up. He told us how Alyssa might have an infection because my water started leaking and she didn't come out for 16 hours after that. He said they may send her to the NICU to get antibiotics and she could possibly leave the next day, but he didn't know for sure.
Later we found out she really did have to go to the NICU so we went down to see her. We found out that I was able to go home that night or stay...well we were having dog issues and honestly I just wanted to sleep in my own bed & get a bath. So we ended up going home, we decided to just make the drive to go see her, instead of walking down the hall. Im not sure when exactly it was but we found out that the shortest stay in the NICU is 3 days...never any less. I was so heartbroken and I bawled my eyes out several times. When we leave the hospital and they wheeled me out and I had no baby in my stomach, and no baby coming home with us it felt awful. I just kept reminding myself that she was going to be OK and thats all that matters. The next couple days were AWFUL hard...but strangely enough EVERY TIME we left the hospital we were both in an amazing mood. We LOVED going up there for touch times. Touch times are every 3 hours...what that means is parents can come in on those times and take the babies temp, change diaper, feed & then baby has to go back to sleep. Babies grow when they are sleeping I guess, so lots of sleep in the NICU. Since Alyssa wasn't really sick we were allowed to stay a while after we fed her, we were usually there a total of an hour and then we left so she could get her rest. Every time we left her there my heart broke in half..but at the same time I just had an amazing visit with her so I was always so happy. On Thursday we were told she would get to go home on Saturday, she just had to pass a few tests. The car seat test, feeding test & bloodwork of course. I was beyond nervous for the feeding test because every time when we went in there they gave her like 5 mins to latch onto the boob (she never did) and then they made us feed her a bottle..our nurse that we had most of the time was a huge stickler for the rules......another rule is that they can't eat over 30 mins because if they do they are just burning calories trying to eat. So we would always get to try to feed her for 15 mins....and she would sleep and not eat for us at all....and the nurse would take her away. So when we found out about the feeding test, I bawled. I begged Justin to do it because I couldn't handle failing! The next day we went in for our 3 feedings (which had to be 3 touch times in a row), and Justin started the feeding...another nurse came over & asked who was going to be home with her the most..and because he works that would be me....so they made me do the feeding. I started bawling right then and there...Justin was such great support and he talked me through it. Let me just say -bottle feeding is NOT for me. I did make it through all of the 3 feedings!!! because thankfully the two nurses we had that day were really laid back & left us alone for the feeding. Honestly being in there trying to hold her, feed her, change her diaper..its just so nerve wracking first of all theres wires all over her...and your surrounded by nurses who deal with tiny babies every day..makes you feel like you suck with your own child lol. So anyways she ended up passing all of her tests & she came home Saturday the 24th!<3 I set my alarm for 8:30am so I could shower & get ready..they told me to start calling around 9:30 and I was counting down the mins! Buttt then the nurse called & told us we could come right then! I got so excited I woke Justin up & I was rushing him like no other!! Before they discharged us we went through a huge list of things about taking care of a baby, it was pretty informative and Im glad they did it!
Since being home everything has been amazing! My milk ended up coming in on that Friday, so bringing her home Saturday worked perfect. Saturday I had the worse time getting her to latch, but then Vicki came over & helped....and we got it down! Ever since then we have had no BF issues.. I still worry that she's not getting enough, but based on her diapers she is just fine. I am anxious to see her weight on weds, an I am praying she's back up to where she needs to be. Justin has been beyond amazing with her, he even changes poopy diapers...:P I have deff fallen more in love with him whenever I watch them together. He goes back to work on Monday and Im going to be so sad:(
Well this was one long ass blog and I am now really tired haha.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
38 weeks2days...and counting:P
Life has been pretty interesting lately. I am now 38 weeks<3 It feels so amazing to say that Ive come this far! I have officially hit the 'Im over being pregnant I want her out asap stage'. Mostly because I have waited this long and now I know its safe for her to come out so Im beyond ready to meet her. But also because pregnancy is painful LOL. I get to excited whenever contractions start, and then super upset when they stop! I have been pretty lazy lately, trying to keep the house clean though so that when she arrives everything is still perfect! I haven't really felt like leaving the house much, and then when I do leave the house I tend to regret it later haha. I can't believe how soon Ill be holding my daughter...Gosh it seems to unreal...still. A LOT of people have been telling me they really feel like she's coming this week sometime, I REALLY hope they are right:) I was checked last week and I was dilated to a 1, so thats something...even if its something tiny & tons of people walk around like that for weeks...it was a small step to be excited about! Justin is beyond nervous to be a dad, but sometimes he says the most adorable things & they just melt my heart. Anyone who knows Justin knows he tends to be a pain in the butt sometimes, butt I have to say lately he's been doing things I never thought he would. Like anytime we go anywhere he always offers to drop me off right at the door & pick me up at the door so I don't have to walk as far. He's been really understanding about how much pain I am in...Im really thankful! Although I couldn't get him to go to the commissary today, I suppose I didn't ask him to go without me...so maybe he would have. But I asked him to go with me to help get the heavy things and he did try to get out of it.. but in the end he went..and he dropped me off, picked me up, loaded & unloaded the car by himself....deff something to be thankful for lol.
Other then Alyssa stuff not much else has been going on! I did lose a friend today, and at first I was upset about it, but then she started lying about things I had said...so now I am thankful that I got the negativity out of my life before Alyssa arrives. I don't need negative people in my life, and I sure don't need liars. It sucks when you try so hard to help someone and make them happy & nothingggg works. But there comes a point in your life when you need to realize that everything happens for a reason, you gave it your all...and no matter what some people just won't be happy!
I don't know if I blogged about this or not...butt my mom is going to be here APRIL 10th! I can't even wait! I am so extremely thankful that she is able to come out and meet Alyssa!<3 Its very sad that in the army life family can't just come up to the hospital after you have your baby, or be there durning labor....but for them to be able to come at all is certainly a blessing! She will be staying until April 24th! So I am PRAYING that I have Alyssa by the 10th and that we are out of the hospital! I just don't want my moms time here wasted sitting in the hospital, how boring lol. I am going to talk to my doctor anyways because Id REALLLY love it if miss Alyssa was out and home by Easter. I really want to get her pictures taken with the Easter bunny lol.
Im a tad bit sad that Justin will be leaving for the field on April 23rd, and my then my mom leaves the next day..butt I have wonderful friends who will keep me busy Im sure;) Im so lucky that Justin isn't deploying anytime soon, so thank God for that! Its crazy though he will be gone till June...and only home 3 weekends. Alyssa is going to change so much just in those couple weeks, Im sad he will have to miss it. But I will take tons of pictures for him (and everyone on Facebook of course). He will also miss my first *AMAZING* mothers day, but I am totally OK with that just because for the first time in years I will be loving mothers day, and holding my precious daughter in my arms! Ahh I can't wait! Plus Vicki & I are already making plans to do something together since our husbands won't be home. Sometimes the army is really crappy, but you have to make the best out of every situation & remember it could be worse! At least he's going to be home for the birth, and he's leaving for a matter of weeks (home some weekends even!) and not deployed for a year!
Right now we are in the middle of a horrible sand storm,..ooooh el paso! Its really bad though, my friend said they even cancelled flights! You can't even seen right in front of you..and if you go outside its so nasty sand gets everywhere! Justin and I had to make a trip to the commissary, and since we were lazy & fell asleep for hours we had to go out when it was pretty bad..its only down the road so not too bad but yuckyy lol. El paso windy seasons are verrry nasty! Hopefully not too much longer and this grossness will be gone:))
Well thats all for now<3
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