Tuesday, June 26, 2012

update on Alyssa - I can't believe shes 3 months!

Our amazing daughter is 3 months old. I can't even believe it. Heres a little update on her..

First off all she sleeps A TON! She wakes up about once a night to eat, sometimes twice. I just put the boob her her mouth and within 5 mins shes back to sleep, so I think its more of a comfort then actually hungry. She still sleeps with us so it makes it pretty easy, and she never has to cry or even fully wake up. Thats super helpful lol. She's starting to be awake a little more durning the day, but not too much. Sometimes I wish she was up more lol. I spent A LOT of time with her in bed cuddling though. I could get a lot more done durning the day, Ill be the first to admit it....but Id much rather be cuddling my baby!<3 She's starting to not be latched on as much, and she doesn't like when I hold her like a baby anymore:( Really child your 3 months old -I should be able to hold you like a baby for much much longer! She is starting to show some interest in her toys that I hand her, but usually just for a split second. She still loves her bouncy seat and has a blast playing in there. Its nice because since I don't put her in there a lot its like a treat LOL. She uses it to shower and so I can go to the bathroom..thats about it. We use her bumbo seat for dinner and so I can clean up the kitchen. She likes to sit in that too:) Her swing...ehh its hit or miss. I use that for about 10 mins a day if that...usually so I can take the dog out haha. Her activity mat she does like and she will play for a little bit. But her fav thing ever is just to lay in bed and have me talk to her. She's all smiles!

I met a lady at the doctors office who had this really smart 3 year old, she was telling me I should start reading to Alyssa every single day..I was reading to her just not every day. After seeing that amazing girl and talking to that mom I decided she was right, and really more bonding time can't hurt? Now I am kind of obsessed...I grab a handful of books (usually between 5-10) and I read them to her every night. She seems to really love it. She's been getting back to being pretty fussy in the evenings again so I use the gliding chair to rock her & get her calmed down...then I read to her till she falls sleep!

We have moved bath time to the bathtub instead of the sink. One day she was pretty fussy so I decided to bring her bath sling and put her in the tub with me...(I can't stress enough how much I LOVE baths) it calmed her right down, and I realized how easy it is to just get into the bath with her. So every since then I just take baths with her.

She rolls all over now, from back to belly, back to back. Its so cute to watch her roll haha. The first time she went back to belly I was like HOLY CRAP I thought you weren't supposed to do that for months  LOL. It was really exciting..proud mama moment<3

She's usually a pretty happy baby, and shes getting MUCH better about the car. She hardly cries, and when she does I can *usually* get her calmed down. I think the more comfortable carseat helped A LOT. We still do baby wearing and she loves it sometimes other times she wants to get out and look around. I started putting her in her stroller when we go some places, she really likes sitting in there too it seems. Its so nice to have all these options lol.

She's growing up so fast, its so amazing. I LOVE being a mom, its the single most amazing thing that as ever happened to me. I get asked a lot now that shes getting older if I am thinking of putting her in her crib or bassinet (basically getting her out of our bed). Justin and I pretty much agree we will know when its time, and its no where near time. He still wakes up quite a few times out of a dead sleep and looks over to make sure shes breathing...(I don't wake up nearly as much anymore but the snuza has a lot to do with that, I more wake up and worry its turned off). Now that we have more room in the bed, I see no reason to get her out. She'll leave when shes ready, we make a lot of jokes about how our kids will be teenagers still sleeping with us. Justin just said something about us having 6 kids and a dog in our bed haha ---we are NOT having 6 kids;)

Another new thing she started is crying when I leave her (to go to the gas station because thats the ONLY place I go alone, I won't even run to walmart lol) uh-oh. I left twice and both times she scared the whole time=/ He thought she was hungry, but since the gas station is seriously a min away by the time he thawed the BM, warmed it up, put it in a bottle I would have been back...so he just waited....she wasn't hungry -either time lol. I knew because I just fed her right before I left and also because the second she saw me she stopped crying the second time, and the first time as soon as I grabbed her she was good. I felt really bad for him hes like 'what you don't love daddy anymore'. Its just because I am with her 24/7 and I am usually the one to calm her down. So I said we needed to start working on that, letting them get her more when shes crying. It seems to be helping:) Yesterday I went to the gas station and she did great:) He said hes realizing he has to keep her busy the whole time so she doesn't notice I am gone, by walking around with her, talking to her, singing to her. It felt great to come home and NOT hear her screaming last night! She's warming up to him (side note she did amazing with him until the stupid field training)<3 Although the moment when your baby is upset and only wants you feels great LOL.

Alyssa and I are going home in a few weeks, I am SO excited! I can't even wait for everyone to meet her/see her again.

:)))

What would I have done if I couldn't BF?

Because I am so PRO breastfeeding I get asked quite a bit.... what would you have done if you couldn't  BF?

Well first off let me start out by saying I was very determined to breastfeed. I told myself from day one I would do EVERYTHING in my power to breastfeed. I wanted Alyssa to have 0 bottles 0 formula. Of course we all know she landed in the NICU so plans didn't go my way. HOWEVER...I know for my next baby how to make changes. First off, they gave her formula because her sugar was dropping -without even asking me. Chances are at the time I would have just said yes, but next time I know that I WILL bring a sign that says no bottles no formula, I trusted the nurses when they told me they wouldn't give to her without talking to me-and they did. Not to mention, they say they 'need it' but they really don't. I have seen countless friends get told that & they refused the formula and guess what -no issues. I guess thats a scare tact from hospitals? Idk doesn't make much sense to me. But that was my first lesson learned -don't trust people. Second, when she was admitted into the NICU I stressed over and over and over how important it was to BF.  Those 3 days she got pretty much all formula. I pumped but because it was just colstrum I didn't get much. She wouldn't eat from me, because as soon as I put her to the breast she fell asleep -she was very comfortable my arms. I didn't realize I got get donor milk (from someone I don't know, or a friend). Thats my second lesson learned...if I have have another nicu baby I will find someone to give me breastmilk. You live and learn...

With that being said -I got VERY lucky with Alyssa because when she came home we did have some issues, but I had a really supportive mom who told me "she might miss one meal, maybe even two but she will NOT miss a third -don't you dare give that baby a bottle". I couldn't get her to latch, and neither one of us was getting it. Long story short we finally got it. With no bottle needed. Im excited to say that she hasn't had formula since we left the NICU, and I was able to donate all of it to other moms in need:)

Now back to the question -what would I have done? For me, breastfeeding was everything. So I if I couldn't have EBF I would have felt guilty or more felt like I failed -I know I would have - but I also know I would have done EVERYTHING in my power to at least give her SOME breast milk. I have watched mothers struggle their entire BFing relationship and STILL make it past 6 months...most have to supplement with formula. I watched moms struggle with not enough milk, no latching, no milk, pumping issues, using a nipple shield for months on end...so I learned A LOT. I know that it would be really hard for me if I didn't get to EBF or BF at all but I wouldn't be offended when people talked about how wonderful it was or how they think formula is the most awful thing ever (yes people believe that) because I know that I would have given it EVERYTHING I had. I know I would have cried like hell, but then realized that I did everything humanly possible to BF and that I didn't go down without a fight. -That I couldn't feel guilty for.

I am however planning to find a friend(s) when I get pregnant next time that already knows the plan and would be willing to donate her milk to me if I ever get into a situation that I need it

So if you are a BFing mom that didn't make it, or had to supplement remember are still amazing for trying and giving it all you had. Remember you did your absolute best and no one can ask for more<3 Don't let people make you feel guilty!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Why I post the things I do...

I have been wanting to write this blog for quite some time now...but Ive been pretty busy. Alyssa is sleeping now so its the prefect time.

I want to explain somethings.

After having Alyssa I found a ton of awesome parenting groups/pages on Facebook. A lot of them are breast-feeding support. Its wonderful to have online support because SO many people are against BFing in public or just in general. And there are lots of questions about BFing -is she getting enough, whats wrong with her latch, why isn't she eating, are their enough diapers, can I take this med and so on and so forth. BFing can be really hard, esp with people commenting 'I could never do that, so your baby poops like 6 times a day ew, shes always attached why don't u just bottle-feed, she eats to much'...so I found support online. The more I read about BFing the more proud I became of me doing it. When I first wanted to BF it was because my mom said its better for the babies and she loved the bounding time. She always said she didn't know if you could bound with your baby without BFing because she never didn't BF lol...then she saw Justin with Alyssa...and she realized YOU CAN bound the same. She said it was so amazing for her to watch, she loved it<3 Well, the more I read the more passionate I get about the subject, and the more I want to educate people because it IS hard and so many people give up after a short short amount of time because they just don't have the support or the right information. So many times I hear that someone didn't BF because their family didn't so they didn't know where to start. Or they didn't know its healthier. So THAT is why I post things...plus I want people to see how amazing it is because it IS hard at the beginning -sometimes REALLY hard. Thats not to say that I think a mom who choses formula is any less of a mother then someone who BFs, because I don't. I used to say that I thought it was horrible when a mother doesn't even attempt to BF...and that still makes me kind of sad ---BUT then I realized that some people don't have a mom who told them how amazing it was. Would I have chose to BF if my mom if wasn't for my mom -Ill never know. So how would they know if someone didn't educate them. So THAT is why I post things...I am not saying 'oh I am better then you'. I don't think I am a better mom then anyone.

With all these BFing, natural parenting pages came a BIG topic that I wasn't ready for: circumcision. As I was reading all the comments about it, I just skipped over those statuses because 1) I had a girl. and 2) I didn't see the problem with it. Well the more I went on these pages the more I realized people are SO against routine infant circ...and I wanted to know why. So I decided to do some research. What I found shocked me. Im not going to go into a big long note of why you shouldn't do it. Ill just say Id LIKE you to research it before you do it, and watch a video. JUST because its always best to make informed decision. With that being said: I would never judge someone who circ there son.. you are doing what you think is best for your family. As I am doing what I think is best for mine. I wouldn't say that makes me better then you by any means. I am just not like that. BUT I do feel like I need to post things on Facebook because how can people learn if no one is teaching them? I have already had a few people message me and thank me for posting because they had no clue. I can't just let go of that...I can't. Same with BFing I have had people say I saw your Facebook posts and it made me want to BF....thats amazing. I am just pretty thankful for those groups because if it wasn't for them we would have circ our son without giving it a second thought =/

Abortion is another big one -I am posting because its something I feel super strong about. If I can change at least ONE persons mind its worth it.

And last but not least carseat safety is a huge one. If you don't chose to extended rear-face thats FINE. But I am not going to stop posting things about it...heres why. When I was pregnant the subject got brought up and Vicki explained how it was safer. I thought she was nuts...because honestly it didn't make sense to me. How was it safer? We were in the car with another friend and she agreed with me. Vicki was trying to explain (and getting pretty heated haha) and we weren't listening. This was before I had seen articles ALL over Facebook explaining how much safer it is. Over the next few weeks Vicki made it her mission to change my mind...one night we were at my house and shes like well you really listen to me and watch this video. She changed my mind....and I seriously thank her because if it wasn't for her I would have turned Alyssa and 1...and its just not as safe.

So, in conclusion -I am not posting these things to make you feel like an asshole for doing them. Or to say I am better then you, or saying I am judging you for your choices. I am posting because I feel strongly about the topics, and I want to inform others. If you don't agree thats fine, I still love you. Theres tons of things other people post on Facebook that I read and think what an idiot, buttt guess what everyone is different...and theres going to be plenty of times we read each others stuff and think, shes an idiot. Doesn't mean we can't still be idiots together haha. Its kind of like pay it forward, I learn something I want to pass the info on. Doesn't mean I am judging you for choosing something different. I have tons of friends who are against epi, induction, any meds durning labor really, c-section...they post things about it ALL the time. I had an epi & I was induced (water leaked) do I get offended...maybe for a quick second but then I realize they are just trying to inform people of the info that THEY learned. Its not a personal attack on me haha. Oh and FYI Alyssa is 2 months old and I already find things I did wrong...I didn't know. Ill do better with the next baby, its a lesson learned.

Sooooo remember -I am not judging you. And I am no where near the perfect mom -although I am so close its scary -LMAO jk!;)

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Attachment parenting!

Attachment parenting. It seems to be the topic of discussion lately. I can honestly say I didn't know anything about it before Alyssa was born, and I am kind of glad..heres why..


When I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed...it was something I KNEW if I couldn't do, I would try EVERYTHING and if I couldn't...Id be highly depressed. When I found out they gave Alyssa formula in because her sugar was dropping dramatically, my heart sank. I wanted to cry right then and there...everything I read says NO BOTTLES NO PACIS AND NOO FORMULA. She was just a few hours old and they already broke the rules. I was crushed. When they brought her back to me and she took to the boob I felt much better...I had quite a bit of trouble in the hospital but the staff was amazing support (it was me not her having issues lol). That night Alyssa did A LOT of crying, any time we put her down... I wanted her to sleep with me in my bed but Justin said no way. I would fall asleep with her in my arms & he would wake me up and say no put her down. He even offered to stay away & hold her so I could get some sleep....but he was DEAD set against her sleeping with me. He was way to worried. But MY natural instincts wanted my baby in my bed with me. The next day when they took my baby to the NICU I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces...with every bottle of formula they gave her I wanted to die...I tired to nurse her but it just wasn't working all I wanted she wanted was to sleep in my arms, it broke my heart.

Fast forward to when we brought her home...she was in my arms A LOT I spent a lot of time TRYING to get her to nurse, working on the latch, trying to keep her awake. Anytime only of us wasn't holding it just just didn't feel right to me...but I kept hearing over and over again that you don't want to spoil her so hold her for a few weeks and then put her down a lot...you'll regret if you don't. So my mindset was AS much as I wanted to hold her, I must not allow her to become spoiled. I started to notice that even when she was just sleeping I didn't want to put her down. Again it was those natural instincts kicking in.

A couple days before she turned 2 weeks old we had big problems....she was cluster feeding. But not only was she cluster feeding she would fall asleep on the boob, Id lay her down & less then 30 mins later she woke up screaming...at the time I didn't think anything of it..I just thought she was super hungry (and Im sure growth spurt had a lot to do with it) Well I spent 3 nights in the row on the couch (two of them crying) because my baby wouldn't let me sleep...she would fall asleep and Id let her fall into a deep sleep but as soon as she was out of my arms she was awake. It was REALLY hard. On the 4th night I couldn't take it anymore I told Justin she was sleeping in the bed with us, he was SO against it...begged me not to roll over on her...it was a nightmare. I didn't know what to do. But I followed my gut which said put that baby in your bed. That night we slept great--and almost every night since! I got a lot of shit about how I would kill her, and how Ill never get her out of my bed....but Justin and I agreed we didn't care how long she was in our bed, we would deal with that later. I did a lot of research about co-sleeping and how to do it safely. I got the toddler guard rail, the snuza..and I felt great. (Btw Justin said she could start sleeping with us when she's 1 bc then its not to likely for us to kill her, so he clearly doesn't care about her sleeping with us haha). Since then everything has been perfect, theres always the fear that I will roll over and I don't want to say I won't because Im not going to jinx myself...but we both sleep amazing and are much happier...she LOVES to be by momma what can I say:)

So remember when I said that Im glad I didn't know about attachment parenting before she came? Well the reason why is because then I might have wondered if MAYBE just MAYBE the research and talking to other moms put an influence in my head....but since I did everything before I even know all about it, I can honestly say I just followed my mothering instincts. and for THAT I am thankful! I already had the ergo carrier long before I learned about baby wearing, and I knew I would use it...I just didn't know so many people did wear their babies:) I was told A LOT that you shouldn't pick your kids up for every little cry, but I have since learned that I can't just let her cry. In the car she does, and its horrible. I hate it. Besides, soon enough she's not going to want to be cuddled or loved on so I need to enjoy it while I can. I used to think Id want to kill myself if my child didn't let me put her down..but now I have realized I WANT to hold her. Of course I do want her to play on her play mat, sit in her swing & use her bouncy seat but she does all those things. While Im cooking dinner she comes in the kitchen with me and sits in her bath seat..when I shower she sits in her bouncy seat...where ever I go I bring my little love bug with me! Its perfect!

You may think I am crazy, and thats ok!:) You do whats best for your family, and Ill do whats best for us!  In the end following your instincts is it what is best!:)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

SNUZA REVIEW -I give it 110%


So you might call me crazy for ordering a snuza, but it is hands down the BEST thing I have bought for Alyssa. If I had to pick between ANYTHING else and this I would chose this. First off I want to say Im not being paid or anything to do this, I just really love the product and think that EVERY mother with an infant should own one. 

What is a snuza? its a monitor that tracks her breathing. Its TINY and it clips to her diaper... (( http://www.amazon.com/Snuza-Halo-Baby-Movement-Monitor/dp/B002ITOC7S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336920579&sr=8-1 )) I paid $113 for it, looks like the price went back up to $118 but I am sure it will go down again.

I decided to buy it because we do co-sleep and I wanted to make co sleeping as safe as possible (I also got a toddler guard rail for our bed). I read the reviews and A TON of people were saying they wished they knew about this device before they lost their first child to SIDS. I decided right then and there I really didn't want to be on that review board saying that so I decided it was worth the 100 bucks. Hands down the best purchase for Alyssa. It has went off a few times because it goes off if its not fully against them and sometimes I forget to make her diaper extra tight, or if her diaper gets too full, which that in itself is really nice because then I know when to change her diaper (haha seriously though that only happend once, which is weird because her diaper has NEVER gotten that full before..she peed a lot that night lol). But its not a big deal..and as least I know its working.

How it works: it vibrates after 15 seconds if it doesn't detect breathing...then it gives the baby 5 seconds to start breathing so after a total of 20 seconds it will alarm so you can check the baby. The alarm is pretty loud I think, but if your baby does sleep in another room you might want to buy montiors (if you don't already have them) just so that you make the chances of hearing it better..but I have been acrossed the house and still hear the thing go off.

 Some of the people said it actually saved their babies life...they ran when the alarm went off and their baby really wasn't breathing..then they called the babies name a few times and the baby didn't wake up so I grabbed the baby and THAT finally woke the baby up. What would have happened if that alarm didn't tell them, would the baby have woken back up by himself, we will never know...but I wouldn't want to find out. 

Many people think I am crazy but SIDS can happen to ANY child at ANY TIME. It doesn't matter if you take EVERY precaution. I got it not only for SIDS but for suffocation because with her in our bed I didn't want to play what-ifs. You may think you don't need this device, and you might be right, but who wants to find out? $100-$120 to possibly save your childs life?  I don't know about you, but I personally feel like you can't put a price tag on your childs life. AND you might think oh I already have a child, two or maybe even 3 but SIDS doesn't happen to your first or second child. SIDS can happen to ANY child at ANY time. Not just SIDs but suffocation! 

The manual does say that can't guarentee that the snuza will alarm if the baby stops breathing in the car, because the movement of driving could make it not alarm, but Alyssa's has went off in the car (bad mom I didn't clip it all the way, but I am kind of glad because I always wondered if it would alarm in the car lol). 

Oh and if your worried the alarm will wake up your sleeping baby (if its false) Im here to tell you Alyssa sleeps right through it haha. Idk if thats every child but the vibration the alarm, shes still sleeping lol. Which knowning that it made me realize when the alarm goes off I need to RUN because if shes really not breathing she won't wake up and its imporant that I wake her up. Oh BTW I guess I should add that babies stop breathing in their sleep all the time, most of the time they wake up....other times they just dont. No one knows why -thats why we have SIDS. 

I also forgot to add that it detects if they are having irregular breathing. And Alyssa did one night. You know by the way the lights flash. One night apperently Alyssa was having some irregular breathing, but it hasn't happened again. Its nice to know so I can keep an eye on it. It also nofifys you if they stopped breathing and then the vibartion woke up them up. Its pretty amazing. Over all -I give this product 110%! The false alarms just show me that this device DOES work! 

I have a picture on my fb of how tiny it is. They wear it under their clothes, no one even knows its there and really if you want you don't even have to use it durning the day -although I do. $100 and peice of mind, and possibly save your babies life -what are you waiting for?!

Welcome to mommy hood!

I haven't really had much time to post since Alyssa made her arrival...so Im going to attempt to blog while she's sleeping:)

Where to start...well first my mom came to visit for 2 weeks that was amazing & lots of fun. It was so awesome to watch her with Alyssa, I was really sad to see her go:( But I am so thankful she was able to come out & visit for the two weeks! Justin is going some fun field training, he left on the 23rd and he will be gone till June. He does get two weekends home, so that helps. He came home for the first weekend already and was shocked at how much bigger Alyssa got after just two weeks. This time he's gone for 3, so Im excited to see how much bigger he says she is this time. Right now my sister is visiting, she also is staying for two weeks so thats awesome. She's been a ton of help and I really appreciate it:) I really wish I could move my family out here...:P

Ever since having Alyssa I miss home more, well not home...but the people. I wish we lived a little closer because so many people haven't got to meet our beautiful daughter yet -and won't until possibly Christmas. That breaks my heart! She's perfect and I want everyone to see that.

A lot of people keep asking about breastfeeding, its going amazing. It took some weeks actually FULLY love it...and now that she's 7 weeks (she'll be 2 months on the 20th so sad lol) its perfect and I really love it. She wakes up between 1-3 times a night to eat, just depending on what time we go to bed. She's SO alert now, and she actually hits some of her toys now..I love it. I don't know if its too young to tell but when she's in her bouncy seat she only ever uses her left hand to grab the toys...so we might have a lefty like mommy:) But again idk if its too early to tell? She does A LOT of eating, sleeping & pooping, haha. She HATES the car, and seriously I don't even like driving places because sometimes she screams so hard, its heartbreaking. She IS sleeping in our bed, and I have to say I love it so much. We both sleep so much better, and I am able to tend to her before she even starts crying. Its awesome. I always know when its time to wake her up to eat because she starts making crazy noises (I swear sometimes she sounds like a pig or a goat haha) and sucking on her hands...I usually rub her back for a few mins if she doesn't go back to sleep and keeps sucking on those hands I fully wake her up & feed her.


Alright, thats all for now<3

Happy Mothers Day to ALL...

This Mothers Day is so special to me because its the first Mothers day since 2005 that haven't felt empty..this is the first mothers day that I have gotten to hold my child in my arms instead of just my heart. Of course my angels are still in my heart today. Being a mom is the BEST gift I have ever received, and I am so blessed & thankful. 

Happy Mothers day to the best mom in the entire world...I love you so much mom! I only hope I can be at least half the mother you are.Thank you so much for everything you have done for me!

I would also like to say Happy Mothers Day to all my amazing mommy friends..

Happy Mothers day to those with with beautiful children here on earth.
Happy Mothers day to those with angels in heaven.
Happy Mothers day to those who have children in their hearts instead of their arms (those who are struggling every day to get pregnant, I believe as hard as your working just to have children you deserve to be told happy mothers day and remember day day you will get your miracle and this will ALL be worth it).
A huge Happy Mothers Day AND thank you to those raising someone else's children as your own..you guys have a very special place in my heart.
& of course Happy mothers day to the mommy's of fur babies:)))




“Happy Mother's Day”
It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.
It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.
But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?
It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.
An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.
She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.
All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.
So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!


I thought of you and closed my eyes. And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say, A mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you? Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women babies. When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime and others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this. God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say, "We go to earth to learn our lessons of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, Oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me, I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy, Oh so much, but I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.'" So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are okay. Your babies are here in MY home and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with ME until your lesson is through. And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother— It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, until their time is done. They'll be up here with ME one day, and know you're the best one. ~Jennifer Wasik~