I am thankful for...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY:) Of course for Thanksgiving Im going to post a blog about what I am most thankful for, how could I not? I am so blessed!

This year started out horribly with loosing the baby, and honestly I wasn't sure how I was going to pull myself out of the depression. But with the help of the amazing people in my life.. & of course a blessing from GOD ..I was able to do a complete 360, and I am now the happiest person in the entire world. I was able to realize that no matter how unfair & how far it was that I lost my babies it was for a reason. And learn that my children were just too beautiful for earth & are now hanging out with the BEST babysitter until I can arrive to take care of them<3

I am so thankful that I am finally getting my dream come true. I have an amazing daughter growing inside me, which is such a miracle. I am so thankful for everything that comes along with pregnancy -even the aches & pains..because they are constant reminders of how I have an amazing child growing inside of me. I am so thankful that I get to feel her kick & that shes not shy for Daddy either so he can be apart of it. I am so thankful to watch our house fill up with baby items. And for all the amazing gifts I have received for her. I absolutely could not be MORE thankful for Alyssa!<3

I am VERY thankful for my husband. I look at him, and I CANNOT believe we have made it this far. I have an amazing marriage, and I am completely happy. Just like with getting Alyssa, we had to go through the storm to get the rainbow.. its the same with our relationship. It wasn't always rainbows & butterflies..and it still isn't always. But I can honestly say that I love him now more then I ever have. I am beyond blessed for everything he does for me. He works hard to allow me to be a stay a home wife and soon to be mother. Not a day goes by that he doesn't have me smiling or laughing. I am so blessed to have found my soul mate!

BELLA -Yess I am thankful for my dog, haha. She has brought so much fun & excitement into our lives. She is a pain in the butt, but worth it completely. I never knew I could love a dog so much, but I really do. Shes deff our child:) <3

My family & friends -I am so thankful to have such amazing supportive people in my life. My family & friends have been there through thick & thing...and I couldn't be more thankful. I am so thankful for everything that you guys have done for me, you don't even understand. I have gotten so many amazing gifts for Alyssa, I never would have imagined I would have been so blessed. I really appreciate it<3 I am also so thankful that even though we are wayy to far away from home I have a great support system here  and a wonderful army family. I love that we don't have to spend the holidays alone even though we don't have our family. Its such a blessing.

The ARMY -I am so thankful for the army. Without it I have no clue where Justin & I would be, but I know our live defiantly wouldn't be this fabulous. The army has given us so much and I can see why GOD put it into our lives.

I am thankful that I have found a great Church to attend and PWOC which helps me learn more about GOD and also the bible study that helps me learn about my marriage & how to help it grow.

I am so thankful for all that GOD has given us. We are very blessed! I am thankful that we have a roof over our head, money in our bank account/a steady pay check, food in our belly's, we don't have to go without things we need, and we have a car!

I am thankful that GOD allowed us to have enough money to go home for the holidays, and that my mom, Sandra & my sister are all going to be able to come down to see Alyssa after she is born. I am thankful for amazing technology that is going to allow everyone to watch her grow through pictures online & skype. And that I have been able to watch my family & friends children grow through those things as well.

I am thankful for all the soldiers that are overseas fighting for us right now, and that can't be at home with their families. And thankful for all of them who have fought past or present. I am thankful for those who came home, and also thankful for those who paid the ultimate price. I am thankful for their families back home supporting them. I am thankful that GOD has allowed many of my friends husbands to come home early from deployment & that they will be home for the holidays. And I am ESPECIALLY thankful that Levi is home safe & sound & that we are going to spend the holidays with our best friends again. I am also very thankful that we have been an army family for 2 years with no deployments (even though Justin really wants to go).

I AM SO BLESSED<3

MESSSSAGE TO SOMEONE!

I don't know how to delete a blog...so Im just putting that:)

doctors appointment

I had a doctors appointment today:) All he really did was listen to her heartbeat and then we talked about my stinking ear. I told him Im still having issues with it, even though it doesn't actually hurt its annoying and feels clogged. He gave me more of the magic medicine he gave me last time and told me if I use it and it doesn't go away fully without 3-4 days to call him and he will send me to an ear doctor. I told him Im super worried because I have to fly on Dec 14th and I know its going to be hell flying with a jacked up ear. The nurse told me on my way out that the ear doctor may tell me I can't fly if we don't get it taken care of. Im sorry but Im not going to not go home because my ear hurts, really I will just go to the ER the next day if I have to lol. I refuse to not go home because of my ear. Today I am 21 weeks, woop woop:P and I have gained 11lbs. Which they said at 20 weeks I should have gained 10lbs and a 1lb a week every week after. so as of right now Im exactly where I need to be. That feels great:) My doctor is super cool though, today he looked so happy to see me LOL. I wanna ask him what the chances of him not delivering Alyssa are. But I figure we have 19 weeks to talk about all that stuff, so we can do all that talking later.

Housing is amazing. Im so blessed to have on post housing!! I got my fence, all Im waiting for is the door, they put the poles up for the door today...so just attach that door and call it a day. I really hope they put the door on today, other wise I probably won't have it 100% finished till Monday. Either way, I LOVE IT. It looks really nice..and its a nice size! I can't wait to take Bella out there for the first time and let her run around like crazy.

Today I am SOOOO tired, haha. I went to see breaking dawn with Jena last night. It was really good, and Im proud to say I stayed awake the entire time. Although there was a few times I thought I was gonna fall asleep LOL. Going to bed at 2:30 is not my idea of a good time, esp when I have to be up all early for my doctors appointment:) But it was a lot of fun. Today Im just relaxing, we were supposed to get coffee with other friends but life happens. Andd...Im glad. haha. Im SO TIRED. Im going to take a little nap in a little while, and then later tonight Im going to the tree lighting on post. Im VERY excited for tomorrow though...even if it does mean waking up at 7....just saying. LOL. ITS THE POST WIDE YARD SALE WOOOO! I'm going to get up all early and go help with the FRG for a little while. Then Im meeting up with the girls to go shoppppping! I hope I find a bunch of awesome things...I can't wait:D Im mostly shopping for Alyssa obviously! THEN SUNDAYYY MY LOVE COMES HOME! So excited for this field stuff to be overrr. And Im sure he is too. The things my husband does for me, amazing. I dont think I could ever thank him enough.

Parenting

As I'm sitting here with my daughter kicking me and moving all over inside me.... I'm reading my facebook and I see a status this proud momma posted about how her two kids got birthday cards in the mail, her son opens it up and sees money..he then asks her 'Mom can I donate this money to kids with cancer, because I know that is way more important then any toy I want'. I stopped dead in my tracks to really think about what kind of mother she must be...we don't really know each other. I see her statuses on my newsfeed as Im sure she sees mine. But I don't really KNOW her...but her status really got me thinking. She must be one amazing mother to raise such amazing children. Then it gets me thinking, I want that for Alyssa. I want to be an amazing mother, someone that she looks up to. I want the very best for her. You ever meet a child, and your just sitting there watching, not trying to be judgmental...but thinking WOAH I pray my kid never acts like that. If you haven't, well I guess Im a horrible person then. LOL. Because I do..everyone says its all about how to raise them. Which I believe, but I do also know you can do everything right and still have a rotten child. It makes me want to talk to those people with AMAZING children, and just ask 'what did you do differently from other parents'. My mom is my life, shes everything to me. I mean everything! I don't know what I would do without her, and please God don't let me find out for MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY years. I always go to her for advice on anything, esp parenting. I hope and pray I can be HALF the mother she is. 

One thing that my Mom always tells me is that you have to respect your husband, and your children. If you don't respect the people living in your household your children are going to pick up on that. And they won't respect you. Well one thing that really worries me. If you actually really know Justin & I...you know our relationship. You know how in love we are, but you also know how 'mean' we are to each other. We LOVE to joke around, all day every day. He calls me fat daily, I tell him hes too skinny. He makes fun of me for things, I make fun of him...its just how we are. And of course we do it with smiles on our faces and lots of love. He tells me 'go get me a dr pepper. now' so I tell him 'say please?' and he says 'go get me a dr pepper please. NOW'. Its all fun in games...but now that Alyssa is coming I worry she will pick up on those jokes and not realize we are kidding? Do we need to change who we are to be better parents for her? I know that she will know we love each other more then anything. We don't fight often **knock on wood haha** Although I know when we do we will either A) not be able to do it around her or B) change up the way we fight haha. I don't want her to think marriage is perfect, because its notttt. I want her to know its normal to fight, but I also don't ever want her to see us disrespecting each other. 

There is soo much to being a parent.  I know I will lose my temper, she will drive me nuts, I'll wanna sell her to the zoo (maybe haha), there will be nights I will be crying because she won't sleep, or stop crying. Over the years she will test her limits and be bad, because thats what children do. I just hope & pray I am never the mother that I have seen others be. Is that being judgmental? Im not really sure. I like to think of it is as learning from other peoples mistakes, as I hope people learn from mine -because there will be plenty of mistakes. I swear, I used to think when it came time for me to finally be a mom I would want to hold her 24/7, let her get away with things because shes too cute. But over time, Ive learned that I just can't do that. How I raise her from day one is going to set up the rest of her life. Which Im not going to lie, is a tad be scary. Kids will do as much as you let them get away with. I don't want to be mean mommy, but I know I will have to be in order to be a great mother. I think people take the things I say too personal though, like I can look at someone and say, I don't want to be a mom like her AT ALL. Doesn't mean I hate her as a person, just means I don't want to follow in her footsteps of parenting. Theres nothing wrong with that. LOL. I can think your crazy, and you can think Im crazy:) I have friends who are all about being natural with everything...I think they are crazy...and they think Im crazy:) haha. Everyone parents differently. Like Jena, wants 5 kids..I think shes NUTS haha. She thinks Im nuts for only wanting 2..thats life:) 

I have to say, Im SUPER glad I got a dog though. Bella has been my test tool:P I didn't realize it when I got her, but she really has been. Shes the PRIME example of dogs/kids will do whatever you allow them to get away with. When I first got her I had her trained not to get on the couches or on the bed. Over time I changed that because I wanted to cuddle with her. I still don't mind that she does it. and Im glad I let her on them..I wouldn't change that. I am a little worried about her getting excited and jumping on the couch when Alyssa is laying there...but its going to take time. I started a horrible habit of feeding her people food..ahhh why! LOL. Actually -Justin started it. And I finished it, haha. Now she begs horribly, I could totally break that...but whatever shes only gonna live a few years she might as well get some good food of the deal:P But the worst habit is that she loves wrappers, and anytime I finish anything she wants to lick it clean. Before I didn't really mind it, but now I HATE it because she knows if I lay it down, its hers. So she takes them off my night stand and licks them to death, then Im picking up wrappers every where haha. I wish I could train her to throw them in the trash when shes done haha. Other then that, shes a really good dog. Shes still a baby so she gets VERY hyper whenever ANYONE comes over. She acts like she gets no love at home....as shes laying next to me while I type this. Dont let her fool you, shes spoiled:P Im just so glad I got to make mistakes with my dog, and see how it one time can effect the future, now I know not to do that with Alyssa! :) 

Little girls come with a lot of STUFF

As a lot of you know the past 5 months I have been picking up things here and there...mostly FREEE things from the Jr Enlisted or amazing people giving away clothes on facebook. Well now the room looks like baby stuff has thrown up all over the room LOL. I finally got my crib/dresser set ordered, which I'm SO excited about:D I got an e-mail today saying they should deliver it on or before the 19th. They are going to call to schedule delivery. So tonight I went into Alyssa's room to have a look around..and woah LOL. I know once I actually go through everything and put it away, Im going to realize I have like nothing. But looking at it all sitting on the bed is just plain scary haha.  So tonight I threw everything in piles, clothes, bibs, towels, toys, blankets lol. What is even more scary is how much stuff I still NEED. Thankfully Im getting my stuff soon so then that will help get the room set up..so I won't feel like its just a mess. Then that should hold me over till I got home for Christmas:D By the time I get home it will be Jan, I can put everything away & see what I still need. THEN I just need to hold myself over till March for my second baby shower..haha. THEN less then a month & my little princess will be here! Ahh I can't wait!<3

I'm so happy though because I already have quite a few toys for her and books:D Im so excited to read to her...I kind of want to start now but honestly I feel silly. I really thought Id talk to her too...no, I feel weird doing that too. Besides what am I supposed to say? haha. She kicks all the time now...its amazing. I swear it doesn't matter what Im doing if she kicks I smile. She kicks a lot in the morning and at night. Yesterday I stayed in bed all day and she kicked all day long...amazing. Shes so strong I swear. I haven't figured out what makes her kick, except for eating. It never fails if I eat, shes gonna start kicking. Kind of makes me wanna eat 24/7 haha jk.

As far as my weight goes..Im really excited to see how much the doctors scale says I have gained. Last time I was there (like 2 weeks ago maybe?) I had gained 7lbs. I was SO excited haha. So Im wondering if I gained anymore. My babycenter app says I should have gained 10 by now..and expect to gain about a pound a week for the next 20 weeks. That would put me at 30lbs total. I'm just saying...I'll probably gain more then that LOL. I keep saying I hope that I'm on of those amazing girls that leaves the hospital and you are like what the hell did she even have a baby? hahah, I KNOW thats not going to happen. But  it would be nice. ALSO would be amazing if I could lose all my weight in 6-8 weeks. Im PRETTY sure my mom told me she lost all hers in that time with me, not with my sister though. HOWEVER she eat healthy with me, and not with my sister. and I don't eat healthy. ALSO would be amazing if I got no stretch marks. Hahah <---a girl can dream can't she:D Really though -no matter what happens to my body, Alyssa was WELL worth it thats for sure!<3 Ummm IDC if this is TMI IM SHARING lol...seriously my nipples are so bad now. I might have wrote this in my other blog, idk haha. They are sooooo big. What the heck LOL. Alyssa betttter be able to BF esp since my boobs are already CRAZY LOL!! Seriously though, are they gonna go back? LOL. I swear they are like IDK hahah. Soo big! hahahah. and DARK. hahah. ok ok ok, enough about my boobs!! HAHA. Other then that, Im not noticing any other body changes. Well besides the obvious one, my belly is getting so big. I LOVE IT. I can't see my vagina anymore when I look down, yep I love it! LOL its hard to see the bottom of my stomach too..Its tooo funny:P ohhh and my face DID clear up for a few weeks, it was beautiful but now we are back to pimply again, haha. Seriously, I dont know how people don't love pregnancy. I LOVE it. And its not like I feel great all the time....trust me I dont. Im tired, out of breath, I'm super emotional, I get my feelings hurt, I cry, Im uncomfortable, Im in pain, Im always starving...but seriously...all of those things make me smile because I know Im growing a miracle inside me! And Im not just saying that...I really do smile when those things happen. Once Im done crying (who knows why Im even crying because I never do) I just laugh at myself. I can honestly say, I thought pregnancy was so amazing before, I had NO clue just how amazing it really is.

Justin goes back to the field tomorrow...wahh! haha jk. Its the last week YAY:D We had another wonderful weekend. I seriously love him so much:) And I dont care what anyone says, sometimes that few days away from him just makes me realize how in love I really am with him. Even though last night I totally had a melt down, because he always calls me FAT, he always has..it doesn't bother me because I know Im sexy haha..well last night he didn't even call me fat since like way earlier that day but I couldn't get full..so I kept going to get food and he was playing his game. I felt like everything I was getting he was thinking oh my gosh shes a whale LMAO. Seriously, then I convinced myself that I was eating too much...so I got all sad and told him I can't wait till he goes back into the field so I don't have to hear that Im fat everyday...and I was BAWLING my eyes out while eating a ppj sandwich HAHAH. He was like babe seriously you know your not fat your beautiful. And then I couldn't stop crying and he was like laughing at me soo hard, which now Im sitting here typing this laughing so hard...but seriously it was sooo funny. I don't know how I got myself all worked up over what I was eating but I deff did! hahah. Gotta love those hormones:D Im just saying though, it deff gives me something to laugh about later! And my husband -just simply amazing for putting up with my CRAZY self!:)

my amazing day!! LOL

I just have to blog about my wonderful day!

So bright and early this morning my dog woke me up -6:30 not my idea of a good time, But whatever haha. Well then I ran by Amy's to pick some a few things she was going to give me. One of them was a care bear blanket for Alyssa, its sooo cute. Then she also had a doggy stocking she gave me for Bella...soo cute. Then I go to PWOC which is always a blast & Amanda came up to me & gave me the cutest Christmas tree decoration. Its a little mouse that says Mom to be, its sooo cute. Then she told me to ignore the year on the back which said Christmas 1990. I thought that was the coolest thing because I was born in 1990!:) I have to say I feel soo blessed by the things my friends have given or bought for me. I love my friends:)<3 So then PWOC was wonderful as usual.

Then Vicki, Anna and I went to lunch at the px. As I was parking I saw the glass guy..I was soooo happy because on halloween weekend I was driving and I got behind a semi and a rock flew up and hit my windshield, I was sooo mad, but I also knew that the glass guys are ALWAYS at the px and always telling you that your chips will be covered. So I was just waiting to run into them. Well today was my lucky day ((which apparently they are at the PX every day haha)) and he fixed my TWO cracks- yeah we found another one..depressing. LOL. Buttt it was totally covered by my insurance -I love you USAA- but I had to call them to get my member number, which is pretty funny because I could have just gotten it out of my car. Well I was MEANT to call them today because they asked my address which I swore I updated, but I guess not...and then he sent me over to renters insurance to update my address on that as well. After he updated my address for all my stuff he said that car insurance didn't change but my renters went DOWN $22 a year. Which is only a few bucks a month but hey thats amazing and I will take it. I wish I would have updated sooner, since Ive lived here since April haha. But Im so glad it was caught now and not after something happened to my house and then nothing was covered. I LOVE USAA though lol. Im so excited because if that crack never happened, I wouldn't have updated my insurance saving me money. What a blessing! LOL.

But my day wasn't done being awesome after that. THEN we ate lunch, and went into the PX where I finally found the perfect bra! AND it was only $24, which if your a girl you know bras can be pretty pricy. So I was soo excited...I dont even want to talk about what size I am now...but Im gonna post it anyways because if I dont everyone is gonna wonder. 38 D LOL. I went from a 36C to a 38D in just 20 short weeks! LOL. My girls are HUGE now. LOL. Im not saying I don't love them because I deff love them more now that I found an awesome bra LOL. THEN I found a shirt for only $10, and if you have ever shopped for maternity clothes you know thats such a blessing lol. THENNNNNN LOL..I found the CUTEST outfit for Alyssa! Well, Vicki found it. LOL. She said I had to buy it, she had it in two different sizes for Kylee haha. It says Daddys favorite girl, and its got pants to go with it. Its super cute and was on sale..and I got it in 9months because I know I already have a lot of little clothes!

BUT thats not ALL lol. So then I call my mom just to talk and I ask if she knows yet about getting a coupon for Thanksgiving...for those that dont know We are getting Alyssa's dresser set from JcPenny's.. And its a pretty penny, Im not going to lie, but we were waiting around because its on SALE and for my mom to get a coupon that is either 20 or 25% WELL she got one in the mail! She wasn't home when I called so shes gonna check it out, butttttt that means we get to order her crib/dresser set soo soon! IM SO EXCITED I CANT EVEN CONTAIN MYSELF LOL.

Now Im just relaxing, because Im SUPERRR tired from my long amazing day!:P

no title...

I am so ready for Dec, yes I know it only just turned Nov. But Im ready to go home and see my family & friends. Its soo close, yet so far away:( Im also ready to start getting Alyssa's room set up..I feel like I'm wasting time sitting around doing nothing. I want to order her bedroom set ASAP, but I have to wait for a coupon from JcPenny's. The black friday AD came out for Pennys and they said that furniture is going to be 45-65% off. So Im praying mine goes on sale, or one of the other ones I love. Because then it will be on sale, AND I get my moms discount woohoo! Once I get her bedroom set I think Ill feel a lot better because then her stuff won't just be laying around every where, and I can wash & put away the stuff she does have! I'm just so ready to get things going on her room, ahh. Im also ready for this stupid field crap to be over. My poor husband, I swear -Im so thankful hes the one in the army and not me. haha. I hear wives complain about staying home with their kids..Im sure your husband would trade with you in a one second LOL. The things my husband tells me  -I know I'd rather get 4 hours of sleep because my baby is crying and then get to lay around all day with her..then nap when she does...then get 4 hours of sleep and go on a 'mission' and be doing crap all day. They deff take this crap like a champ though, way better then me or ANY of my friends would haha. Im so proud of him though, for everything! He got a coin while out there again, this one he actually seems kind of proud of! Last time he was like eh whatever haha. But I think its because he really didnt know why he got the last two.. this time his SGT wrote a big paragraph about how awesome (pretty much what it said I guess) he is. Just makes me so proud, hes grown into such an awesome man and amazing solider! He goes to the board on Dec 5th...woo hoo<3  So this weekend hes getting his ACUS ready for that. Which means $$$$, anything that has to go with the army means money I swear. haha. I know its all worth it though. If he passes the board they said he will be SPC with a P status...and he will go to WLC (I think thats what its called haha) in Jan. Then they said after that stuff its just waiting for points! He also came home an told me hes doing or maybe doing more field training in Jan. Then he should be all of a feb off and back in March, but Idk how much he will be doing in March because Im due at the end:) Wow when you say it like that March doesn't seem too far away haha. Only 21 weeks left and our daughter will be here. Which reminds me, today we were in the baby section and Justin was like wow, how am I going to shop for my daughter? Haha it was cute. 

I am suchhhh a grump lately. Ive been getting annoyed by EVERYTHING. I try so hard not too, but I can't help it lol.  Today Im super mad because my ear is acting up AGAIN. Its like clogged, I dont even understand how this happens. Its been months messing with this crazy ear! If it doesn't go away in a few days after starting my drops again looks like Ill be calling the doctor. I also hate burlington coat factory, haha. I went there today to look at their crib/dressers set to compare prices and see if I liked any. I couldn't really tell because all the ones on display looked horrible! And they didn't have the prices displayed for both dressers. And I swear no one worked there at all.. because I couldn't find a single person. I was like oh my gosh this is crap. So then Justin went looking for clothes...because he always turns shopping to be all about him! Haha, but he  got some clothes for super cheap so that was awesome! Well I went to look at bras because I need a bra horribly...first off it was MESS. There was crap everywhere all over the entire store in fact... and they didn't have my size at all. How hard is it to find a D haha, yes seriously by boobs have decided to grow -a lot. Im going to need to go to JcPennys and find one I think...I wanted to try to suck it up and wear the one I have for my entire pregnancy, but thats nott happening. I can always tell how much they have grown because I knew how they fit in my hands before I got pregnant -perfectly. NOW they are huge, hahahah.  Oh and we wanted ihop this morning, well I did lol....and we went to two different ones- crazy long lines, like we probably would have waited over an hour, I was like DANG. We will never try to go out that early again LOL. We got krispy kreme instead. It wasn't ihop but it was still pretty good, plus we have extras. We got a dozen, and oh my gosh my husband ate 5! WOAH. I ate 2, so needless to say I will be sharing with him. Then I got hot choc, which wasn't good...and then spilled it all over the floor of the car. Niceee. We had a lot of laughs about it though, so its all good. 

Nothing new has really been going on, well except that I feel Alyssa ALLLLL the time now. I LOVE IT. Oh and Justin felt her on Friday, it was soo funny. I told him I thought it might be to soon but we can check because the ultrasound tech did say shes very strong so we thought what the heck haha. So I put his hand on my stomach and then she did a strong kick and I was like oh my gosh did you feel that -well his hand was all weird on there, so he readjusted it and then I felt her move again and he didn't...so Im like whatever Im just gonna stop saying anything and he will tell me if he feels her..and then all of a sudden he was like 'holy shit I think I just felt it'. and I got super excited I was like REALLY? And hes like 'yeah, unless your stomach is doing some weird ass gas' it was sooo funny. I was like wow. Haha. I love him, hes so crazy haha.<3